Friday, 6 April 2012

Why Men Hate Me For Being Fcuking Gleaming

Inspired by Samantha Brick

On a recent trip to the supermarket I was delighted when a woman with a tray of  snacks came over to me and offered me one. Yer probably thinking, 'what a lovely surprise' but it wasn't to me.

Throughout my adult life Old Knudsen has had many weemen offering him all sorts of goods and services. While waiting in line at the doctors office (me rash came back) the pretty receptionist asked, "whose next please?" she knew I was next the dirty wee tramp. Then the other day in the chip shop the lady looked around at the customers who had ordered and looked at me and asked, "Are ya getting?" .......... sexual harassment right there!

I suppose Old Knudsen's pleasing appearance simply made their day.

Now Old Knudsen is no George Clooney. I'm unconventionally good looking in a bit of rough from behind kind of way, with muscular shoulders and eyes that see into yer very soul.

But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other men hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks. Having great wit, intellect and a huge cock is just icing on their hate cake.

If you’re a man reading this, I bet that you’ve already formed your own opinion about me — and it won’t be very flattering... I hate you haters.
For while many doors have been opened as a result of my looks, just as many have been metaphorically slammed in my face — and usually by my own sex.

I’m not smug and I’m no flirt .......... though you do have very pretty eyes,  yet over the years I’ve been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely on their blog .... Issues!

You'd think other men would applaud Old Knudsen for being what they cannot be and for their weemen folk feeling horny again, even if its not for them.

C'mon lads don't hate me cos I walk with confidence and take a pride in my appearance which reminds me with the warmer weather its almost warm enough to wash me hidden world of pleasure. 

Weemen do throw their knickers at me but Old Knudsen cannae wear those skimpy wee  things. I'm sick of saying , "I wasn't looking at yer wife she was looking at me, now thats out in the open wanna a three way?"

Its difficult being so lovely difficult being what weemen and many men want.

Me therapist says its because Old Knudsen invokes the closet gheyness in men and they feel so conflicted at wanting Old Knudsen and hating themselves for it...... it could very well be so.

Old Knudsen welcomes a decline in his looks so maybe other blokes will finally stop judging him so harshly on what he looks like but that is never going to happen, even Old Knudsen's turds are sexy.

They hated Jesus for being beautiful and Old Knudsen has that same cross to bear.  


1 comment:

MJ said...

Looking at Old Knudsen is like staring into the sun.