Tuesday, 21 February 2012


A proud time for Ulster. The Ulster hero Cu Chulainn is cumming to the big screen in an epic tell all about his life. 
Like Mary in yon Bible Cu Chulainn's ma was raped by a god. Did you know that over 60% of deity rapes go unreported?  Lugh the long arm was said to be responsible but it was hushed up as these things usually are.

Norn Iron is proud of its historical fact and paints it on walls for tourists and the like to see. You can see by this just how long the Troubles have been going on for.... Fcuking Irish! cumming up to the north of Ireland which as we know was never Ireland, it was only called Northern Ireland as an ironic joke its always been a part of the United Kingdom like duh. The name Ulster is an old English name, it comes from the Middle English for for Paddy which cums from the surfs who grew rice for the kings. Anyone who watches the history channel should know all of this.   

Micheal Fassbender is to play the *Celtic* hero the hound of Ulster ........ known as the hound because he arrived late for a party and killed the host's guard dog when it attacked him. He felt bad and so took the place of the guard dog until a replacement was reared. Cu Chulainn was quite skilled in licking his own balls and catching Frisbees by the time he left. 

All brave men of Ulster should welcome the movie as it will no doubt contain lots of shagging, some cattle rustling and some weemen and children getting slaughtered but I don't want to spoil it for ya.... oh he dies in the end.

*As in a sort of British Celt not German or French and certainly not Irish* 


Donn Escapeons said...

Cu Chulainn sounds kinda Spanish? Like "Che" Guevara.

Perhaps the Land O' Ire would be better off if it embraced it's obvious Spanish heritage.Why not start over and try to fergit about the dismal marketing ploys that highlighted Lucky Charms, Leprechauns, Unicorns & U2?

I'm sure the Vatican has hundreds of Swiss Guards who could oversee the political & social transition to a tropical 3rd world nation. Siestas, Tequila and Bull Fights is the way to go!

Hasta la Trubbles Amigos!

Reggie said...

Usually I don't even think of myself as a God unless I'm naked of course.