Monday, 19 December 2011

The Greatest Lawn Nazi Dies

Kim Jong il or Dear leader as Old Knudsen likes to call him has been murdered!

No not by Old Knudsen as we were total BFFs. The culprit of this heinous act that took Our father at the oh so young age of 69 was South Korea!

South Korea may be a cuntry full of dog eating hot chicks.

But it is EVIL!

Only recently the South tipped Kim over the edge by using psychological warfare, they put Christmas lights on a tower near the border which could be seen all the way from beautiful Kim's villa. Everyone knows that Kim hates Christmas and he likes a nice tidy border.

Just the latest in shite that the south has pulled. In 2010 the South Korean navy rammed a North Korean torpedo with its warship and then blamed Our Dear Father of sinking the ship. The South also put islands where Kim liked to fire his artillery shells and made him look bad when people died . Earlier this year they also had an old couch lying on their side of the border and did not keep their hedges trimmed.

Kim Jong il from a scene in Fight Club

Kim Jong or the Jongster as Old Knudsen used to call him .................. used to call him, I think I may cry, well he was a fine patron of the arts sometimes kidnapping directors to make his movies and creating beautiful songs such as 'No Motherland Without You' which was sung by Bono of U2 fame on the soundtrack of 'Free Willy 6 The Pirates Booty'. 

With his strong courage and will,
Socialism he proudly defends.
He brings all across the world
Our nation's honor and pride.
I'm sure you've all heard it or will when Justin Bieber does his cover of it for the New Year. Now that lad has talent, Bono could learn from him.

They hung Saddam, shot Gaddafi, got Idi Amin with a poisoned milk shake and now they caused sweet Kim Jong il's  heart to burst by the pressure of Christmas as they knew he had not yet sent his cards.
He may have seemed like an odd bloke to some and all they go on about is blah blah blah executions and human rights violations whatever those are but Old Knudsen loved him, that crazy wee fcuker in his ma's high heels and 70's jump suit ach what Old Knudsen would give for one more fart competition during one of Kim's famous sleep-overs.

Old Knudsen will just assume that he speaks for the rest of the world when he says, "We'll miss you our general and if killing 1000 political prisoners would bring you back we would in a second". 


63mago said...

And don't forget the stealing of Japs from JapLand shore - a real master! Fuck I must cry ...

MJ said...

You were the first person I thought about when this news broke.

Reggie said...

I wonder what dog tastes like?!?