Tuesday, 18 October 2011

You Can Wipe It But You'll Still Get Skids

 "No really Angie invest in Grease" I meant the musical not the bloody cunty!

So like I wus sayin. The hills the glens, the heather, the gorse, the cool clear rivers of my home land ... well fcuk that after 10 minutes of walking in the phishing rain ya start ta think that maybe the dust and harsh dry heat of Southern Callyfornia wasn't so bad.

Groups of angry teens roamin the streets causing trouble, weemen with more black eyes than a spud and oh when did ma people git soo stupid? No wander I keep leavin the people here doony get my jokes!
Old Knudsen will admit when he is wrong .......... though he is never wrong but yon Yank Republicans may of had a point sayin that the NHS is a um whats the word? deathtrap? or is that two words? ach who cares? you get 10 minutes with a doctor and they try to get you out in under 5.

Old Knudsen was suffering with a bit o Rigamortis of the penis, I swear that thing has a life of its own as well as its own post/zip code ............ my wee joke but hey it is huge!

The Doctor took one look at my lad and congratulated me and shook my hand. I then told him how I was feeling a little depressed as well possibly affected by the depressing over cast weather. He perked up and said, "snap out of it and if you still feel like this in 2 weeks then make another appointment and I'll give you a referral to someone that cares, oh that make take 6 - 100 weeks to go through now move it along".
The referral thing is a standard response so I've noticed hey yer lucky if the hospital has an x-ray machine never mind an MRI machine. Its punishment for not living near one of the nation's more important and richer cities in the south of England.

So Old Knudsen was fed up............. he asked for a mission and for his sins he was given one.
 
For yer safety Old Knudsen cannot tell you much about what he has been doing while he wasn't blogging but he will give you a few hints .

Arab Spring is no a bottle of water that Brad and Angie swig from on the way to the gym.
Osama did not kill himself ya know.
Beyonce said she was on the pill.

Aye its been a funny old time and fcuk me raw the Interweb is boring as shite when Old Knudsen isn't on it.
Don't expect this to be a regular thing, Old Knudsen is a force of nature. I just happened to glance at me shite meter for the first time in a year and saw I still get over 100 stalkers a day, what the fcuk? its seems that many hunger for the Knudsen poison. He is the herpes of the blogosphere.

10 comments:

Princess said...

Er Doctor... that nasty rash has appeared again...

"Looks like you got another bad case of Knudsen"

Welcome back Sir

MJ said...

My sleepless nights are over.

Donn Escapeons said...

It's aboot fking time you came back!

I am the 99% of your stalkers!
Can you hear me now!?

FirstNations said...

GIVE ME YOUR DISEASE YOU BLACKHEARTED FOUL BASTARD!!!!
Dammit I knew I smelled something familiar!!!!

*faints*

FirstNations said...

...geeze, it was Coppens.

Sorry.

Never mind.

northern musings said...

twas very surprised to see you made a post! Well done you, you old bugger..

Reggie said...

I learned a long time ago that the only thing worse than wishing you were home is actually being at home. When you're at home you have enough time to sit back and think and remember why you got the fuck out in the first damned place.

dai said...

Oh Feck!! Not again....

Old Knudsen said...

I am picturing myself on yer collective cyber shoulders as a returning hero type thing, ach sure I only do this fer the attention.

63mago said...

Basted ...

Where's the bird?