Saturday, 22 October 2011

Occupy My Arse!

Old Knudsen has had enough of this shite! It was bad enough that yon Guy Fawkes bloke was in that magazine Old Knudsen would buy in the 80's. Old Knudsen would flick past that boring shite so he could read about Marvelman and bounty huntin cyborgs .......... like ya do.  Then that movie came out "V for Vagisil "and that was as interesting as a blog.

The Guy Fawkes mask protest started out in America of course. Ya know the way Americans are all for freedom of speech and religion? no seriously they are ........ well when it suits them.  It was a protest against Scientology.
Poor Tommy Cruise, ya can save the world from aliens by coughing over them but if ya take the NHS approach to anti-depressants (just snap out of it) you'll get condemned. 

I guess then Anonymous thought it was a good idea to use these masks that represent a 17th century terrorist who behaved much like the modern day IRA to get the point across that they are sick of rich people and demand that the government pays off their credit card bills and mortgage oh and one of them Prius'would be fcukin awesome! other things like government cuts/spending might be important too. 

These were the niave fools who thought that Obama would actually do something when elected as preez but have now fallen out of love with the one term wonder. The system is bigger than him ya idiots! 

                                                        Oh and "live long and prosper"

A failing that these art students, college professors and the other difficult to employ people should understand is who is making money out of this?
You buy yer mask from anywhere from $5.00 to $70.00 cos you have to look the part right? and yer anti-corporation money goes to Warner Bros.

Yep money that could have gone towards yer personal grooming or some more memory fer yer laptop has gone to the Jews who run the movie business and invest in Wall street to fund their war against the ragheads in Israel. Natalie Portmnan (Jewish) is laughing at yous! a movie that should have died in the land of the Razzie is making money it should not be making. 

Not that Old Knudsen is anti-hooked nosed money lender even if they did kill Christ oh no! I'd totally demolish Portman's backdoor. 

Ever wonder who the anonymous puppet master is?
IRA supporting wanker!

Quit the movie quotes and start blowing people the fcuk up like the soldier of fortune Guy Fawkes tried to do, like WikiLeaks complained that the army was doing ........... in a war. Nothing about those masks suggest peaceful protest. Lets lay our cards on the table and go for revolution, yeah ya talk a good revolution but this time it isn't the Brits in charge. When Yanks think they have a chance of losing their billions to the poor then shoots will be taken. 

 Now lets put a stop to this sort of thing!

Old Knudsen is the 110% cos he is fcukin gleaming! terms and conditions may apply.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

R.I.P. Daffy

My handlers never tell me what the next job is or what side Old Knudsen is on. It gets a little confusing because one minute yer eating sausage rolls with Col Gaddafi at some BP function and the next yer teaching National Transitional Council Fighters how to shoot straight and kill said Colonel.

SandSavages don't have it in their DNA to shoot straight just like a fly cannae understand a pane of glass, so ya have yer werk cut out for ya.

Times being tough I was doing a wee under the table job for Muammar as he was running out of friends : Old Knudsen is not a friend to any living or dead dictator he just likes money and fawning ego strokers terms and conditions may apply.
It was a hot day and the gravy pouring out of me so I said, "Mumraa me mucker, you go doon to the Mini Mart and get yerself some cream for yer Jheri curl as yer losing yer bounce oh and pick me up some ciggies with Abdoul or whoever that one is cos I'm going on me break". 

Gaddafi shrugged and headed out into the harsh sun that glinted off his tacky golden pistol that me would give me in payment for keeping him safe and killing loads of rebels.

I'd killed 5 or 20 rebels already so I was feeling like I needed a break and a dump before the toilets started to back up thanks to the NATO bombings.

So I was sitting on the bog eating my cheese and Branston pickle sandwich, a wise precaution as cheese just goes right through me. 
The Colonel took off with his convoy of Abdouls and Ahmeds, ach baby sitting can get sooo tiring how much trouble can they get into at yon Mini Mart?  then I heard the sound of NATO up to their old tricks bombing the fcuk out of something followed by a smattering of gunfire ............ the penny dropped. No really somehow I'd swallowed a penny ach the odd things you find in yer shite.

My ultra keen senses were screaming at me "AMBUSH!" but I'm no taking a bullet for nae cunt during my break.

For fcuks sake some Amish twat got me gun. Ah well its off to the job centre again.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

You Can Wipe It But You'll Still Get Skids

 "No really Angie invest in Grease" I meant the musical not the bloody cunty!

So like I wus sayin. The hills the glens, the heather, the gorse, the cool clear rivers of my home land ... well fcuk that after 10 minutes of walking in the phishing rain ya start ta think that maybe the dust and harsh dry heat of Southern Callyfornia wasn't so bad.

Groups of angry teens roamin the streets causing trouble, weemen with more black eyes than a spud and oh when did ma people git soo stupid? No wander I keep leavin the people here doony get my jokes!
Old Knudsen will admit when he is wrong .......... though he is never wrong but yon Yank Republicans may of had a point sayin that the NHS is a um whats the word? deathtrap? or is that two words? ach who cares? you get 10 minutes with a doctor and they try to get you out in under 5.

Old Knudsen was suffering with a bit o Rigamortis of the penis, I swear that thing has a life of its own as well as its own post/zip code ............ my wee joke but hey it is huge!

The Doctor took one look at my lad and congratulated me and shook my hand. I then told him how I was feeling a little depressed as well possibly affected by the depressing over cast weather. He perked up and said, "snap out of it and if you still feel like this in 2 weeks then make another appointment and I'll give you a referral to someone that cares, oh that make take 6 - 100 weeks to go through now move it along".
The referral thing is a standard response so I've noticed hey yer lucky if the hospital has an x-ray machine never mind an MRI machine. Its punishment for not living near one of the nation's more important and richer cities in the south of England.

So Old Knudsen was fed up............. he asked for a mission and for his sins he was given one.
For yer safety Old Knudsen cannot tell you much about what he has been doing while he wasn't blogging but he will give you a few hints .

Arab Spring is no a bottle of water that Brad and Angie swig from on the way to the gym.
Osama did not kill himself ya know.
Beyonce said she was on the pill.

Aye its been a funny old time and fcuk me raw the Interweb is boring as shite when Old Knudsen isn't on it.
Don't expect this to be a regular thing, Old Knudsen is a force of nature. I just happened to glance at me shite meter for the first time in a year and saw I still get over 100 stalkers a day, what the fcuk? its seems that many hunger for the Knudsen poison. He is the herpes of the blogosphere.