Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Actual Dangerous Zombies

If you go to a city and then to the outskirts, not even to the more rural banjo bible thumping regions you'll see that the people in both places are different. City folk are more pushy and nothing will phase them, "They were kicking the poor man to death and I just thought why doesn't someone stop this ? if I don't get past I'll miss my bus." The townie types would open up a few cans of beer and watch.

The folks in other cuntries are different too. Old Knudsen having a PhD in American studies and the study thereof knows the Yank and pities the Yank for they are feed fear by the media and hormones by the government.

The typical American has had all thought of rebelling against the government bred out of them, now they have tea parties and hold up strongly worded signs. Now Old Knudsen was a part of 'Project wuss' in the early 50's, we went to the dangerous mountain gorillas and treated their bananas in chemicals until they became less dangerous now all the great apes do is charge a little and thump their chests, before they would turn yer hed into jam.

Old Knudsen loves a zombie film and the majority are set in America. If Americans turned into zombies they may lurch towards you looking like they want to eat yer brain but all they would do is give you a good old moaning.

Now its true that I do see the odd zombie lurching out of The Travelers Arms early in the afternoon but the traffic usually gets them. If the people of Northern Ireland ever got turned into zombies you'd really be in trouble. Not putting up with any of yer shite they want and will get yer brains but they will also have their fun too.

Centuries of fighting against the English, Irish, Themselves and anyone that looks at them funny has turned them into brawling machines, ach ya should see my ma.......... maybe ya have ya dirty shites. Norn Iron (slurring forms many of the Ulster Scots words) zombies will carry a litre bottle of drink and get liquored up before they knock yer shite in fer fun and then they will eat yer brains..... nom nom nom.

If ya live in Northern Ireland, Scotland or some parts of northern England it may be safer if ya become a zombie or pretend to be Canadian cos everyone loves them.