Sunday, 24 October 2010

Why Old Knudsen Cannae Like Yon X- Factor Shite

Since arriving back in the UK Old Knudsen has noticed that the whole cuntry is set to a disco beat. Every shop, restaurant and mall has over loud camp disco music blaring away. "ach don't be a disco hater" I hears ya say but really is the silence of everyday life not acceptable anymore? I know people have their Walkermans and Ipods but maybe some people would rather be able to communicate without shouting to others when buying a tube of their favourite anti-itch cream.

Its a recession and nearing Christmas so Old Knudsen would like to know who is in his killing zone and having Instant replay blasted at me ruins me keelers edge.

The more cooler music such as Springsteen, Bowie , The Doors and Rabbie fcuking Williams are never played but hey Old Knudsen respects yer lack of taste just keep it to yerself in yer earpods.

The X-Factor which is one of Simon Cowell's abortions is painfully popular, I can understand weemen watching it but it saddens me to know that men enjoy such things too ............... the terrorists are laughing at you sexually confident half men.

Cowell has sat in his poorly fitted hairy nipple jumpers and t-shirts giving his much valued opinions on several shows such as Pop Idol, American Idol and Celebs on the doon low and who really cares what he thinks? He gave us Robson & Jerome and altered their voices to trick people into buying their song so I don't think I care what he says.

Old Knudsen hates live music, he also hates movie sequels because why tamper with the original? Only on the very odd occasion is a sequel or cover better than the original . In the X-Factor you hear all this undulating from 50 year-old fat fcuks who have decided that after 30 years pulling pints at the Dog and Whistle it is now their dream to be stars, yer boat has sailed its nearly time to die.

You get these people that all look like Usher or Sporty Ugly Spice and hey when they aren't putting in too many sillybals in the words or inappropriately rapping they may sound ok but not stars, even with a baby and a sob story.

You get semi decent songs ruined because they just leave out entire lines or make the song their own ............. its not yer own ya cunt but now I hear yer version in my head because it was just so bad.

There are so many songs Old Knudsen hasn't heard because it seems the UK had this whole Gurls Aloud era and anyone from that time wasn't famous in the states so he may hear some ok songs because he doesn't know how they first came out and they all sound the same anyway.

Remember the old Kit Kat commercial? ya can't sing ya can't dance, you'll go along way. Old Knudsen is tired of being told about the trends he is supposed to like, when will people in their mid to late 30's realise they are too old and no one caters for their age group? well ok except for Susan Boyle but she was fcuk ugly and therefore a novelty .

I'm done I've wasted too much thought on X factory shows I'm off ta bed to dream of being a talentless poppy star and maybe someday opportunity will knock........... but really the least effort I can make the better.

4 comments:

MJ said...

Havana is the same.

The streets are "Stayin' Alive" to the soundtrack of "Saturday Night Fever".

Reggie said...

Today's music sucks!!!

63mago said...

Replace it with the Y-fac-tor.

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