Tuesday, 3 August 2010

Flares Are Back In Style

The Solar Dynamics Observatory of NASA spotted a solar eruption or “coronal mass ejection”that is causing neutrinos to penetrate the Earth making the temperature of the Earth's core increase rapidly.

A representative of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, Charles Frost stated, “It’s the first major Earth directed eruption in some time and even though it may cause many mega earthquakes and the displacement of Earth's crust causing the magnetic poles to shift we here think its kinda beautiful”.

The mainland United States may be able to look toward the north tonight and Wednesday evening for rippling curtains of green and red light if the CME triggers aurorae. The sky should be clear and it will be dry with a chance of scattered fireballs.

So far two strong earthquakes 7.6 and 7.2 have struck Papua New Guinea 325 miles to the northeast of the capital, Port Moresby 31 miles beneath the ocean floor.

Taiwan also suffered a 6.3 earthquake on the ocean floor about 47 miles east of Hualien City at a depth of 10 miles.

The US government has issued a tsunami alert for coastal areas of California but when questioned on why Dick Cheny had sealed himself up in his bunker a spokesperson said, " Mr Cheny has decided to spend more time away from his family for health reasons."

When pressed about excessive troop movement around the Cheyenne Mountain Operations Center in Colorado and reports of huge ships being built as a secret project intended to ensure the continuity of human life with tickets for the ships only going to a privileged few, President Obama could not comment as no one had told him about it nor had given him a ticket.

On a lighter note a happy looking former President George W Bush jokingly flipped off the press and told them they were all going to die as he packed up to go on an extended cruise around the world, what a kidder. A well earned holiday Mr President after eight joyous years of service to yer nation.



Heff said...

I call 'em Solar Farts, and Farts are ALWAYS in style.

63mago said...

Aurora borealis is great and I guess the sun should phaser this rotten planet off the system ... zzzzzzzappp!

Princess said...

Surely Mr Shrub is innocent?

MJ said...

That looks more like a spot on Uranus.

Reggie said...

Yeah I'd noticed that it was hot as balls lately, I knew there had to be a reason for that.

drowninginthenight said...
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Old Knudsen said...

I've got sum spots on my telescope.