Saturday, 14 August 2010

Drifting Along

I stand in the aisle looking for Anusol bum cream, no way will I get useless Preparation H on the whole you are dead to me where is the Anusol? I've been awake for most of the night scratching my rusty bullet hole so my powers of concentration are not very good or maybe I'm under physic attack from a Witch.

I look around me at the other aisles why do weemen with terrible looking saggy arses wear troosers with something written on the bums? While I looked at yer 50 year-old pancake arse to read 'Pink' I missed out on yon bubble butt, thank you madam!

My gaze stops at a pretty young lady looking at the shampoos it isn't a moment of stalking my 1000 yard stare just happens to settle of a beautiful expressive face and all around me gets tuned out. I'm no thinking about my itch or what she would look like naked this is a more pure adoration like when you hear a piece of music that pulls you in to enjoy every little bit of it on a deeper level.

And then she does this.

She stands open mouthed like a whale trying to catch plankton for 20 seconds as she yawns , during this time the spell is broken and I see her as a mere mortal who would rather look dumb and gleek over everything and everyone than cover her mouth. I bet she coughs over everything too and uses her mobile phone to talk to people as she sits on the shitter.

Its just as well as I'd probably follow her home and stand in the shadows as the lights go on and off in her hoose then I'd search her rubbish , damn do I hate being in the thrall of a Witch, why do they pick on Old Knudsen?


MJ said...

Many of the troosers I see say "Juicy".

Perhaps it's a regional thing.

Reggie said...

Maybe you're wrong Old Knudsen? Perhaps she was feeling you so strongly that she wanted you to know just how wide she could open her mouth during oral sex or while she was tossing your salad. Then again, you're probably right.

By the way, I'll bet your fingers were stinking something fierce!!!