Thursday, 1 April 2010

Can I Fool Ya?




I was at me extreme Krav Maga for resentful hoosewives class last night trying to think of a way to fool the 3 readers of my blog on this April fool's day.

I could say some celebrity died or America was winning a war or some such shite but it hasn't fooled too many over the last 3 and a half years, well ok there was the odd mong that googled Shatner's death ........... you know who you are. Have you caught the lie yet? yes my lovely reader there are not 2 others stupid enough to read my blog you are alone. In fact Old Knudsen can't even be arsed to pretend there are others by making fake comments lke all the rest do.

Wel ok except for Mago and Wilhelm Luther Old Knudsen does not have any other fake profiles.

In between kicks to the groin from Maggie (pictured above) which did make me quite horny I came ............................ to the conclusion that whatever I say today will not believed as my reader is now too smart even though they are still reading so consider yerself an Oxymoron which means yer strong as an ox and as thick as ox shit.

I should explain the Krav Maga, being a hand to groin expert I let the ladies beat me up for practice. They prefer the kicks and punches while I like to wrestle, it just took them only a week to become fast on their feet quick learners damn it.

So on April fool's day I have many confessions to make: Old Knudsen is not old, he is American from Florida before he moved to Texas and then Callyfornia, hes a pacifist, he didn't once or twice take the Queen of London, England up the jammy dodger, he does not smell like piss, a total homophobe he does not get aroused by gurlyboys from Thailand, he did not leave Bobby Turner for dead in the trenches of Flanders, he has never broken a crime in his life and was in the Coast guard and gurl scouts not the army, he doesn't spit at bartenders to get their attention and has never taken a shite in the toilets on display at the DIY store Home Depot, he also tips waiters ................ with money.

On a final note he is not the droids yer looking for, so beep fucking beep off .


Yes that was a final note, did ya believe that?


Ok I have ta go as I am adopting a child from the third world cuntry of New Mexico. Old Knudsen loves children and is a positive role model fer the wee cunts. Isn't she so darling?

12 comments:

Princess said...

April Fool!
But Mr Knudsen always tells it how it is doesn't he? I'm shattered...

savannah said...

i'm still going to name y'all's baby after you! xoxox

Leah said...

Wait, I thought I was one of your fake profiles. I'm so confused now.

Bavarian Orange Order said...

I never fake it

Heff said...

The dead celebrity April Fools joke usually works every time.

mago said...

You faked me so good last night ...

Bavarian Orange Order said...

you promised you wouldn´t say anything, Mago.

Old Knudsen said...

Princess: Everyone lies, no wait thats Hoose, everybody hurts ... sometimes, no wait thats Billy One Ear. Ach I'm weak and I lie, that is a lie.

Savannah: I've changed my name to Phish Flaps.

Leah: I think I will post nude pictures of all my fake profiles starting with this one.

BOO: that is something I'd say.

Heff: Kirk Douglas cannae live forever but I don't think anyone would care if he carked it.

Mago: You sick fake profile you.

MJ said...

well ok there was the odd mong that googled Shatner's death ........... you know who you are.

Way to hurt a bitch.

Tuesday Kid said...

I've always wondered what it'd be like to get the fuck kicked out of you by an attractive but hard as fuck lady.

Do tell more!

mago said...

That's not "saying", Wilhelm, just ... hach!

Reggie said...

Whenever I think that I've heard it all, I come to your blog Old Knudsen.