Monday, 26 April 2010

Boobquake The End Of The World

Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was sitting on the shitter pinching off a loaf towards Mecca and came up with the reason why the world has earthquakes. No not shifting tectonic plates as that sounds fucking daft no it is because of weemen getting on like hoors.

By George I think hes got it!

“Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,’’ said Sedighi as he wiped his arse with his American flag loo roll and licked his fingers clean as is their way.

Jennifer McCreight a US student set up “Boobquake” a Facebook page and she has enlisted more than 50,000 women (at the time of this writing) who are promising to show as much cleavage as possible on Monday, April 26. And if the world doesn’t then collapse, then Sedighi will have to admit he was wrong and clerics know less than Old Knudsen's shite.

Old Knudsen knows that a promise made by a woman doesn't really count as they have no souls and probably do cause earthquakes but wouldn't it be great if weemen all around the world showed off their boobs in a show of unity? I've been trying for years and will change my begging tactic to one of scorn, sorry but I thought weemen were too smart to fall for this old trick otherwise I would have done it years ago.

Old Knudsen will of course help to end the world with cleavage and scantily clad weemen. News just in Sedighi also said that hot chicks making out causes tornadoes and if weemen sex anyone up whose name is Old Knudsen the world will shift on its axis. Lets prove the fucker wrong yet again.

I bet Sedighi is praying for an earthquake today and hey wouldn't it be shite if he was right?

To think, the volcano and earthquakes that go on in Iceland are due to weemen using their evil powers of seduction on us poor helpless men and not because Iceland sits upon the join where two tectonic plates meet. Weemen should maybe change their ways, did you know that 96% of rapes around the world have a woman involved? I shit you not and I stand by that statistic 24% of the time.

I'm starting to feel something myself but I don't think its a quake.

If this picture doesn't cause some kind of natural disaster then I don't know what will.

While we're in Iran:

Three University of California Berkeley graduates who were hiking in Iraq were taken prisoner by Iran when they used the old, 'they were in our territory' excuse. Didn't we show you were lying cunts when you used that one to detain 15 British servicemen and one ugly woman in 2004?

Josh Fattal, Shane Bauer and Sarah Shourd have been held for 9 months and Bauer and Shourd are in poor health. For fucks sake its Berkeley, they are fucking hippy types no doubt vegans too of course they are going to get ill.
I'd advise the Iranian government to let these 3 kids go , you haven't charged them with anything and you have no good reason to keep them, if they die on yer watch Old Knudsen may have to get his crew together and take you doon.

Listen up Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi, if that is indeed a real name and not a disease, I know its the silly season for churches to talk through their arses, but how about wising the fuck up? Islam used to be the religion of enlightenment and learning now its a shag yer camel free for all. Quit getting on like the Vatican with the ridiculous blog fodder, release the people you have jailed for no good reason or..........

You force me to post yet more and more of these destructive pictures until a quake hits Iran and turns it into a sand box from which yer prisoners can just walk out of.

Do you think I enjoy pictures of these barely clad weemen?

You force my hand sir!


Old Knudsen is so secure in his sexuality whatever it is terms and conditions may apply that he will do anything that some so-called real men wouldn't (grabbing balls is acceptable in a fight, but licking them isn't) why does he have a bra in his possession? for religious reasons........... Thor and Loki both dressed in drag and so it is fine to honour them and like the way it feels too. Jesus wore nappies (diapers) so stop with the fucking judging. What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? I could tell ya but you'd be horrified.

For Boobquake day this will be Old Knudsen's Facebook profile picture ........ ok let the mongs begin.
"Why don't you look old?" Nice of you to say, I work out, moisturise and just had a Hollywood skin peel. I peeled the skin of many a young runaway in Hollywood, did you know that in Hollywood 95% of waiters are struggling actors? not surprising as from my experience they are all drama queens...Ka-Chow! Manuel.
Back to dumb questions I so you don't have to bother to ask them. "Why are you so white"? Its awesome isn't it , why are you so stupid? "Why would you post such horrible pictures?" Old Knudsen thought the bloke with the bottle up his arse was worse. "Why can't we see yer nipples" Well Facebook has a problem with weemen having topless pictures but not men so to support Boobquake and my 'Facebook are nipple Nazis group' I covered them besides its not like they do anything ............... ok the left one may give out a quart of milk every 3 months and the right one weeps blood at Easter but thats it.

A note to MJ, you really do not have to post a link to my arse picture in the comments.

Ok then has the world ended is this thing still on?



peedee said...

Band aid pasties rock.

Reggie said...

What could possibly be better on this whole planet than ( @ )( @ )??

donn said...


MJ said...

A note to MJ, you really do not have to post a link to my arse picture in the comments.

You mean THIS arse picture?

Fine then.

But may I post that bra pic as your entry in my drag compo?

Old Knudsen said...

Peedee: I wouldn't want to offend/disgust anyone.

Reggie: finish the sentence for real... than Old Knudsen in a bra.

Donn: @ me right?

Mj: you hurt my soul sometimes, it isn't drag its a lifestyle choice.

MJ said...

I'll take that as a yes.

Heff said...

I fergot what all the text was about.

Anonymous said...

Is there live coverage of the Vancouver demonstration?

CyberCaptain said...

I'm all for boobquaking, c'mon all weemen, get it on :P

Anonymous said...

The Ulster/Scots boobies only make me think of boobie trap.

tony said...

..........But thanks for the Mammary
Of every touch a thrill
I've been through the mill
I've lived a lot and learned a lot
You loved me not and still
I miss you so much

Thanks for the Mammary
Of how we used to jog
Even in a fog
That barbecue in Malibu
Away from all the smog
How rainy it was...................

Drowninginthenight said...

Ha ha I loved this post so much and I entirely support Boobquake. As a woman, there is nothing I love more than getting my boobs out, and the chance to get them out to fuck off any cunts in Iran is like my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one.

Fat Sparrow said...

You know, I was so busy looking as Salma Hayek's baps the first time around that I didn't even realize that there was a dildo as your man's mic.

Anonymous said...

Shit - now that you mention it Fata Sparrowna.

This Knudsen is so sublime!

Didn't see it. I am just a man.