Wednesday, 31 March 2010

Never Trust A Well Groomed Man

Its true, I've never got over the fact that Liberace was ghey. All those times in the piano shaped hot-tub tinkling the keys and not once did it occur to me. When I found out years later I begged him to go to the nearest Presbyterian church and be cured with scripture and mild beatings, "Wladziu " I said as we sat on his piano shaped love seat "It can be fixed and then you can like gurls and never ever mention what we did together when I thought we were being naked and macho like the Greeks." Its funny cos his penis was the shape of a trombone .......... so I heard as I don't play that instrument.

Another shock was Stephen Gately from Boyz own. Who will do the high notes now?

Sean Hayes from Will, Grace and Dharma came out of the closet and I thought, "no way, isn't he just Canadian of something ?" I hope he didn't win any awards for acting boy did he have us fooled. I bet Megan Mullally isn't even a fag hag.

Now the shock of all shocks Ricky Martin who had a hit song about 10 years ago just turned ghey, its like Ebola I tell you. Who will be next?

Don't even fucking well consider it.

Maybe if weemen looked better then there wouldn't be so many turning to their own.

I mean some of us really do have it going on and its not our fault we're sex on a stick.

Old Knudsen does have a bet with a famous bookmakers as to the year that Harry Potter will turn ghey. Its a lot of money so I may have to take matters into my own hands but mark my words the lad is ripe.

At least we know that Hugh Jackman the lover of many a show tune will always like the ladies I mean look at him not a ghey bone in his body, *Not at the time when this picture was taken at least*

Old Knudsen is handing in his badge and gun as one of the LAPD's top profilers. Ok I didn't get a badge and a gun (officially) and I was more of a pro-filer who did a bit of photocopying too.

I'll be sticking with the laddies er I mean ladies for now, not the best choice but at least you know what to expect there.................. total unpredictable mood swings and threats of violence.



Leah said...

I've missed coming here.

This got me out of a funk right quick.

And Harry Potter has been ghey many a long year already, along with Lucius Severus Remus Dumbledore Hagrid Ron Sirius etc etc...according to my reliable slash fic, anyway...

Heff said...


MJ said...

If Susan Boyle is a lesbian, I'm going into the witness protection programme.

Anonymous said...

From Wiki (so it must be true):
Liberace's fame in the United States was matched for a time in the United Kingdom. In 1956, an article in The Daily Mirror by veteran columnist Cassandra (William Connor) mentioned that Liberace was "…the summit of sex—the pinnacle of masculine, feminine, and neuter. Everything that he, she, and it can ever want… a deadly, winking, sniggering, snuggling, chromium-plated, scent-impregnated, luminous, quivering, giggling, fruit-flavoured, mincing, ice-covered heap of mother love," a description which did everything it could to imply he was homosexual without actually saying so.[44] Liberace sued[45] the newspaper for libel, testifying in a London court that he was not a homosexual, and had never taken part in homosexual acts. He won the suit, partly on the basis of the term fruit-flavoured, which was held to impute homosexuality. The $22,400 (£8,000) damages he received from The Daily Mirror led Liberace to repeat his catchphrase. "I cried all the way to the bank!"[46] The catchphrase inspired the title of Crying All The Way To The Bank, a detailed report of the trial based on transcripts, court reports and interviews, by the former Daily Mirror journalist Revel Barker.

Reggie said...

...and what's up with the little Asian girl sitting on Godzilla's dick?!?

What's that about?!?