Monday 1 March 2010

Earthquakes Rob The Hourly Worker!


Top NASA Scientologists have claimed the 8.8 earthquake in Chile has made the length of a day a little shorter thus robbing the common man ...................... or woman their hard earned money in their paychecks. A full days work for a full days pay is what Old Knudsen expects though due to Old Knudsen's bad back work is out of the question.

The media goes on about all the people who have died but have they even considered the TV schedule? Wot if evil John Locke on Lost got his cock out and started to beat crazy Clare about the face with it but because of the time mix up my Divo didn't tape it?

It kinda puts the holocaust into perspective doesn't it?

The 2004 earthquake that struck the off the coast of Indonesia was a 9.1 and that already shortened the day, just think of all that extra money you could have earned in those 6 years.

The 2004 one shortened the day by 6.8 microseconds and last weeks quake shortened the day by a further 1.26 microseconds thats a whopping 8.06 microseconds [millionths of a second] so I'd get my pay slips and bring them into work cos why should you have to suffer for what the Chilies do?

The earth has moved about 3 inches off its axis which shows you how bad the axis were made in the first place, did you know that the next big earthquake will sour the milk of cows and cause lava to flow through every major city in the world? that is if we are lucky.

Old Knudsen is ramping up production in his eastern block asbestos shoe factory, similar to Uggs I call them Muggs, you'd be a mug not to buy them.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Missed your mugshot ... teehee

Romeo Morningwood said...

How many North Americans or Europeans died in Chile? That's what we want to know! That's what sells papers and gets your crisis it's own theme music on CNN!!
The media gets all whipped up when white people get killed in foreign lands...sad but true.

I did watch the "Hawaiiyins" jump in their cars and scurry up the mountainside to escape the tsunami that the scientologists predicted...and then it hit..biggest 3 foot wave I've ever seen!

Old Knudsen said...

Someday the world will be hot and the sea will rise and we will have lovely holiday weather.

Reggie said...

I try not to eat chili, it gives me gas.