Sunday, 7 March 2010

The Cock Shocker

Fuck Haiti, Chile and the quake that just hit Turkey cos its time for real news and some gloating. Old Knudsen didn't get a chance to watch most of the Oscars cos he was doing lines with Ben Affleck and Christoper Walken off Kim Kardashian's arse.

Christoph Waltz got best supporting actor for Inglourious Basterds which he very much deserved but since he got a load of other awards I really didn't think he'd get the Oscar, its all politics you know.
I knew Jeff Bridges would get best actor as I knew Sandra Bullock would get best actress, I didn't want them to but I just knew they would, films I'll never want to see.

Star Trek got best make-up ................. well thats special and some ugly annoying black person that wasn't Star Jones got best supporting actress. A word gurl friend, yo Mo'Nique if you are going to make it get the lap band operation and loose the fat like Jennifer Hudson did, sell out to Hollywood and get a fucking talk show.

Old Knudsen willed Kathryn Bigelow to get the best director cos he could see James Cameron mouthing his acceptance speech for Avatar getting the best picture, sure Avatar got the art direction award and The hurt locker got a load of little editing Oscars but Avatar was a cert.

Oh yes all about nature and conservation that was the premise right? No! it was blue CGI in 3 fucking D that was what it was all about, go watch Dances with fucking wolves and save yer money.
Old Knudsen makes a statement:

If you paid money and went out of yer way to watch the film Avatar (with the blue noo noos not the air benders) then you are a fucking moron!

There is no coming back from it, the same as voting twice for George W Bush just fucking stupid. Kids who went to see it should just not bother trying in life cos yer life choices are shite.

James Cameron is a dick, not in the same class as George Lucas but still a dick. How much must he be hated by the academy not to get the obligatory block buster Oscar? Old Knudsen did leap for joy when he heard that The hurt locker (that he does want to see) won 6 Oscars including 2 of the big ones.

Many military slagged off The hurt locker for getting details wrong but those details had to be sacrificed due to the small budget and to tell the story of brotherhood, yes there is actually a message there and it isn't CGI.

Old Knudsen slags of war movies especially when Americans are in them yelling at each other and smoking in the jungle before the VC attack by surprise or he slags off the way Colonel O'Neil
in Stargate takes a vote rather than gives orders or the way they move like civvies but if there is a good story and acting then the little things don't matter.

Old Knudsen watched Causalities of war with Michael J Fox and Sean Penn. I dislike both but Penn can act and Fox did well out of his usual comedy role. Based on a true story about a unit in Nam kidnapping and raping a Vietnamese gurl because they could. Fox was only 3 weeks in country and being a good guy and not yet jaded enough reported his fellow soldiers putting his own life in danger and going against the military code to let things slide. Its a scary but a true side of the peer presure of the military. I just wanted to get that in before I say.

In yer face James Cameron rich white dude director!


6 comments:

Fat Sparrow said...

I don't need to pay money to see shite and know it's shite. Yes, it may be a glowing and blue but then it's just a glowing blue pile of shite. With USB tails.

I have been pissed off ever since I heard about "Avatar" and found out it didn't have anything to do with the cartoon. 10 years in the making because the technology wasn't there for it? Okay, George Lucas, I mean James Cameron, that just proves that in 10 fucking years you still couldn't come up with an original story. I've seen Atlantis/FernGully/Pocahontas/far more episodes of The Smurfs than I ever wanted, and you know what? You forgot to add a catchy song, you cunt. If you're gonna go Disney, get it right.

Mind you, I haven't seen "The Hurt Locker" either, and I'm not going to, but at least I didn't have to hear seemingly intelligent people natter on about how they were really only going to go see it for the special effects. Meh.

Old Knudsen said...

So you like Avatar then?

mago said...

There are no sheep?

donn w2Nz said...

The Oscars are all aboot insider politics and what better way to stick it to Cameron than to give the 2 biggest awards to his ex.
The other reasons that members of the academy would do this are because Cameron is making a bazillion dollars at the box office and he was a Canadian.

The 6000 members are mainly insecure bitchy drama queens so what do you expect? Avatar was awesome to watch and may have chganged the way we see films from now on but when all is said and done, it is a kid's movie.

Old Knudsen said...

A little bit of me has died inside, yes that was me.

Reggie said...

I've never done coke, but when I do start I think I'll do it off of Kim Kardashian's arse. At least that's a good reason to start doing drugs.