Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Its Not Me Its You!

Old Knudsen has been getting into shape for the future. Yes my pretend friends Old Knudsen 'is' a force of nature and it is nature's way to change. Old Knudsen will change either by gentleness or by force, a bit of force can be a nice change but Old Knudsen likes it when they lie still.

Have I lost you yet? I shall try harder. Old Knudsen is getting ready to leave the poisoned shores of America for the Isle of Destiny. It is Old Knudsen's future to change that divided cuntry known as the beautiful almost Scottish North of Ireland and the Papal licking rotten potato known as ..................... you know that bit below Ulster that was neutral during WWII.

The Mormons have converted my ancestors to the religion of my choice (not at gunpoint as they claimed) and all my current family have been converted whether they like it or not cos that is the way the bibble rolls !!!

The Liberated Presbyterian Pre-Christian Paganus Church of Planet Earth 'LPPCPCPE' for short.

Everyone is a part of this religion because Gog loves them and he says so, ok he was very pished when he said it but it still counts cos look at all the other stuff he did while drunk: Making weemen, Nuking of Saddam and Gonorrhea, Floods, raping Mary , burning her bush its all there in the bibble.

Of course you are all doomed until you accept yer fate er sorry faith.

Old Knudsen has been buying tons of quick lime, shredding documents about what president Dick Cheney hired him to do and sorting out the sweet from the chav.

I shall keep the books I won fair and square from the lovely MJ, a friend for all seasons except when she is on her moons for then she is a total bitch.

The holiday cards sent to me from my dear friend Anonymous Boxer.

The restraining orders from the lawyers of the lovely Donn.

Then there are also poems such as this from the famous British author Sarah Turton whose signed book I shall cherish. If it wasn't for her I'd be typing at a slant.

The UK is a different world, the above picture isn't shocking since 97% of Englishmen are more than a wee bit ghey. No ghey marriage but ghey civil partnerships which they should be happy with since the word 'marriage' has always cum with negative connotations in Old Knudsen's book.

A new world order of bread sticks, when people hear the word 'cunt' I want them to think of Old Knudsen first. Project Mayhem is in the works and folks will say, "I remember when Old Knudsen was a nice quiet old man."

Old Knudsen's baggy is still quite full and when he is finished with his vision quest it will be up to you if you are brave enough to cum along for a self-destructing roller coaster ride into the world of the uptight and repressed.
Do not decide now for there is time and change will be without hope ............ of a refund.

For now you fudge rockets, watch this space:


dai said...

Do you have to get a visa and a bunch of shots to go there?

Leah said...

I'm in--can't wait for news of Old Knudsen storming the repressed...

I'm willing to risk my pretend money!

MJ said...

I shall keep the books I won fair and square from the lovely MJ

And it appears I shall keep what I got from YOU.

It still itches and burns.

Old Knudsen said...

Dai: I am waiting for my Fenian cock sucker passport.

Leah: Did I say there would be storming? damn my blackouts.

MJ: start a first wives club thing, 'weemen with the mark of knudsen'

Anonymous said...

Greet me the fatherland.

Reggie said...

Yeah, good luck with that.

MJ said...

start a first wives club thing, 'weemen with the mark of knudsen'

Stevie Nicks and I are collaborating.

Anonymous said...

Isn't the lovechild of Stevie and Soren now a adorable young man in all his bloom?

Donnw/2nz said...

I wonder how much the relocation will affect your might actually calm doon a wee bit eh?
It's easy to get yer blood pressure up when you trapped in the goofiest place on I haven't said goofiest in years...half of them are completely f*cking wrong aboot everything and the other half don't have the heart to let the South go.
I think that you'l add aboot 20 years to yer life by leaving...then you'll be uber-old knudsen.

Cybercaptain said...

LMAO @ 97% of Englishmen are more than a wee bit ghey.