Friday, 13 November 2009

Staring At Goats

When Old Knudsen is asked "What did you do during the war?" Old Knudsen first asks "what war?" and then checks if its still classified and the clearance level of the enquirer, many a grandchild has been tortured to make sure they weren't spies.

Old Knudsen was once a Spastic, thats Secret Paranormal Animal Study Training In Combat. I can tell you about it now since the History channel covered it in June when it was doing that special, who would win in a fight 'Wolverine' or ' Nostradamus' ? as you know old Nostra already knew what to do and distracted Wolverine with show tunes and grooming products then cut his head off, "Grow that back in the year 2012 ya mutton chopped gheyer" was what he said.

Old Knudsen has used his special ultra paranormal powers to fight the wars of Terror. By staring at goats he can stop their hearts, make them shite or get them to chew random objects. Old Knudsen can also do various things with sheep, gerbils the larger breeds of dog and drugged, drunk or just stupid desperate weemen.

The expression 'Can't face himself in the mirror' came from powerful Warlocks like Old Knudsen as once did he stop his own heart causing him to shit while shaving and looking in the mirror.

Old Knudsen can also do the handy trick of 'remote viewing' he sits in a room and quiets the voices that tell him to kill hoors then before you know it he draws on a piece of paper the location for the remote control, doesn't it just drive you nuts when you cannae find it?

Quick, look at yer wrist watch, its stopped right? yeah like my readers can tell the time, don't make me go over again what the big hand does for 60 minutes.

Old Knudsen can also make people insane by chanting the simple mantra, "I know you are but what am I?"

All that stuff is old hat now and old Knudsen only uses his powers to stare at.................

You know I don't think I'll tell ya.


MJ said...

I frequently try to change channels with the telephone.

wv: bummout

northern musings said...

My remote is not working.... what shall I do??

Old Knudsen said...

Mj Its all a matter of how you aim it, the curly cord doesn't help.

North Muse Thats what you get for buying Jap TV's without a remote you can't use it, my advice would be to send me naked pictures of yerself.

Momentary Madness said...

My Cock wont get up, and you know where that leavs me. Late.
Well most of the other buggars come too soon; can you win I ask.

Fat Sparrow said...

"Old Knudsen can also make people insane by chanting the simple mantra, "I know you are but what am I?"

Yes, only you could drive an IT specialist insane.

Donn said...

I'll comment when I am good and "finished" enjoying those marvelous chin-nuts.

Go on ahead, I'll catch up later...and close the door behind you OK?

Reggie said...

I'm with you, ( @ )( @ ) are the only things worth staring at!!!