Saturday, 5 September 2009

Scheduled Fun From Les Stroud

Be careful while walking in the wild as a leopard, eagle or angry chimpanzee could very easily leap out and rip you apart, this may be northern Canada but I'll be on the look out for tigers. Remember if you get a little boo boo on yer finger you could die of aids in 4 minutes out here.



What was that noise? I may have peed a little god I wish I was Bear Grylls and not some hippy Canuck. I hope its not a bear in the 80's when I was making music videos we had a koala bear that could have torn us all apart if it wanted to I could see death in its eyes I calmed it doon by playing pan pipes.


I've taken off my clothes to appear unappetizing to what ever it is , I think its working.


Its just a duck, it looks sick so I can handle it.

I fucked it to death which will bring out the juices when I cook it later.


Careful when trimming yer nails out in the wild, you could cut them too short and within 3 hours have died of boredom from my constant worrying. A good survival tip is to wear a bandanna when going bald and trust me on the sunscreen.

What was that? You see that stick 60 feet away? that could be a copper head snake and if I slipped while running away from it I may be trampled by a herd of wild poisonous bison.

6 comments:

MJ said...

If there's no takeaway service in the immediate vicinity, I won't survive.

TROLL Y2K said...

Are you Gordon Brown in real life?

Nick Cage Revealed said...

Bandanas are cool

Boxer said...

I see you're out there teaching him a thing or two. Come back soon Old Man.

Donn Schmonn said...

I'd watch his show if there was ever the slightest chance that he would get eaten by some large multicellular organism...
atleast stung or bitten....
jayzuz that show is boring.

northern musings said...

Survivorman is my main man. When last watching I wondered whether he actually had "normal" relations with other humans at any stage... or should there be a survivorman special in downtown lala land or new york, or even better dublin or glasgow - would he cope with the language difficulties... could he actually survive in an urban environment, without money or the means for making fire....