Wednesday, 9 September 2009

The Devil Of Mendes Returns

If Old Knudsen knew the mystery of Maths he would tell you he'd been off the line for about 10 days. Oh he doesn't sit around and play with himself all day, just part of the day. I moved into a new neighbourhood no longer the ghetto.

I live with Woohoo's adopted semi-celebrity parents in West Dale. No gun shots or gangs in fact one person waved hello to me that fucker must have meant something rude by it so I just gave them the finger to make sure and I didn't use lube.

In rooms built for giants I manage to represent. I'll go into my living accommodations at a later time as I don't want them knowing I slagged them off too half the world, not until I'm ready to leave any way.

Are all Americans crazy or is Old Knudsen a magnet for them?

Old Knudsen did help out on the Station fires but don't call him a hero, well ok you can but he'd rather have money.
Here I am on me lunch break about to eat some pussy.

On a spare day I helped to move Woohoo's neice into Redhill college a place full of young wanna be hippies and skinny gurls wearing short shorts. I stayed for lunch and cleaned them out of their hard boiled eggs at the all you can eat.................... just in case you wondered what that smell was.

Hardly front page news must have been a slow news day but there was nothing slow about Old Knudsen, Wam Bam what no thanks Mam?

Old Knudsen chilled and kicked it with a figment of his imagination by the name of The Kevlar Rooster the lad cannae afford new jeans.
We then drank the blood of young runaways and did other Free Presbyterian things that may shock you.

I also brutally fucked Meagan Faux to help her career and because she paid me, why else would I do a disgusting thing like that? Old Knudsen hates himself sometimes he now understands how you all feel about him.

No I'm more orange than you, out on route 66 again with Bono's orange stand. All this time I thought U2 were Taigs.

Woohoo and I strolled along the beach with our new son Wheetabix until his real parents and the peelers caught up with us but we'll always have our memories, well my old timers is in serious overdrive so as long as I remember I have a blog I'll have my memories.

So any thing happen when I was away?


Donn Schmonn said...

Tan deez an thawts awl y'er sayin'?

I thought you were dead! Would it kill ya to pick up a phone? Then you come up with some half-baked story about Woohoo & Wheetabix! You were on Twitter or Facebook weren't you? I can smell it on y'er collar!!

No nothing could it?
You were gone!

MJ said...

My rash cleared up.

Old Knudsen said...

Just cos I'm on the line it doesn't mean I'm talkin to you lot ......... er you two.

Boxer said...

I got a dog.

MJ said...

Oh you're not going to talk to HER, are you?

Anonymous said...

I missed your sparkling wit and bonhomie, yet enjoyed the respite from the pictures of coffee squirting out of anal sphincters, etc.
Congratulations on the palatial American subdivision.

Proletariat daughter

Nick Cage Revealed said...

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Boxer said...

there's a rumor you're going to be on "Real Housewives of the O.C" is that true?

Donn w/2 Ns said...

Is this story somehow related to Sergio Mendes and Brazil 66?

Old Knudsen said...

I missed you all so much especially you scarecrow.