Monday, 6 July 2009

Scotch Is A Drink I'm A Ulster-Scotsman

Old Knudsen has for years tired to explain the culture of Old Bitter Balls only to be accused of going native by the Free Presbyterian quality and control commission of bitterness and perpetual protest or (FPQCCBPP) for short.

Old Knudsen has stood on the frontlines and protested plays and films in case they contained something that we the moral majority disproved off. Harry Potter is Catholic propaganda designed to indoctrinate the young into thinking that stroking the wand of Dumble Dork who is obviously a papal figure is normal.

Old Knudsen has had to dumb doon so much for the average American but now there is this blog that tells it like it is and if you don't get it then yer a foreigner and unworthy anyway. No tits and many Brit references .

1690 and yon thang

If you don't understand the Norn Iron marching seasoning it wouldn't hurt to check out yon blog.

The more I read it the more I slip into the old tongue.

Old Knudsen met two Mexican looking fellas with American accents the other day only to be told they were Irish once they heard me speak. I am sick of having to explain how un-Irish I am as I have taken the King's shilling and at least one of the Queens nipples.

"So yer Irish from yer dad where is he from?" I ask "Um I don't know" replied the idiot yank. This means he once drank a Guinness and wore a kiss me I'm Irish hat on paddy's day.

I then find out they are also Romanian who formerly lived in Chicago and LA. The amount of folks who tell me they are Irish but don't know from where or how is incredible. Old Knudsen suspects Irish gangbang squads in one night stand orgies.

I was once told how a fellas Da was full blooded Scots from Glasgow with even his own bagpipe. Many people from Glasgow have their own set of pipes and as everyone knows they all wear kilts and eat nothing but a handful of oats while sharpening their Claymore swords.

Old Knudsen no longer tells Yanks he is no Irish as you get the blank expressions and then the hurt as if you shot their dog and then the scorn cos they don't understand. If Old Knudsen is to be scorned he wants the details to be understood.

Think of Old Knudsen as he marches on the 12th of July alone doon past yon Catholic Chapel with all the anti abortion signs out front, "No Potpourri here" and "NO!" in general to all things.

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