Thursday, 9 April 2009

Weemen Are So Yucky!

I just love me religion, oh yeah I get high on the guy upstairs, well I used to when I lived in a flat as he was me dealer and I don't mean Blackjack.

I love religion because it puts weemen in their place but still talks them into joining, its how we men operate ............. you always love the one you hurt.

Weemen joining religions that don't allow female vicars or even to be church elders, oh their husband can be one and the little lady makes the tea and scones and knows her place are fucking class.

I won't even mention Wicca as that isn't a real religion that is merely a load of man hating hippy ex Christians who are all rape survivors and pretending not to be bitter as fuck, c'mon let it out.

Weeman In Copycat Christian Association.

Well Jesus had to be a man cos even in the 21st century a woman can only get up the ladder if she gets on like a man, yes an arsehole ..................... Except for Old Knudsen who believes in equality now go make me a cup of tea love.

In Jerusalem two women who are serving in Israel's new Cabinet have been photoshopped out of the inaugural photograph of the Cabinet by newspapers aimed at ultra-Orthodox Jewish readers.

The weemen are named Limor Livnat and Sofa Landver if you can believe that, I did know a loveseat once . The Ultra-Orthodox newspapers consider it immodest to print images of women .................... "So Ghey!"

Cuntries like Israel and Saudi Arabia to name just 2 are our allies which does say a lot about us. I know why they are our allies but what the fuck can you do? line up with the crazy or line up with the psycho? Then again Israel is a bit crazy psycho, they learned from history but unfortunately it was from what the Nazis did to them, nice guys get put into camps.

News papers are a thing of the past anyway. Why pay when you can get it on the line? The only people who still read newspapers are crazed religious extremists and you can quote me on that. We are beating them though, as you can tell by the drop in newspaper sales.

Newspapers in the UK have not for some strange reason suffered as much as drop as other papers have.

Yes American papers are dull and lifeless. They have more typos than my blogs and thats a lot. Obviously the Brits who actually speak the Queen's English good and proper can bring a story to life and then there is the whole anti-weemen censorship thing.

Once an attractive gurl in the UK turns 16 it is a rite of passage to have a boob job and get yer tits out for page 3 in The Sun newspaper.

Well done to the Brits, showing up those beardy big nosed Deity killers. Weemen are not second class citizens to be photoshopped out and ignored they should be shown and lusted after in all their glory. My church 'The Faith in Gog First Tabernacle Presbyterian Sanatoria Church of our Lard ' gladly opens its doors to weemen because as you may not be completely equal as God wrote doon in the Bible:

'And there so forth weemen are not completely equal so I sath to yer children of krypthon who were begatted and rolled up wet' .

But weemen do clean up, make tea and wash dishes better than us men so we will make you 'Tea pastors' and 'polishing rectors' as my old Pastor the very and most reverend Bobby Love would say, " If you stop yer sinning and join my church the only way is up" I think he meant to heaven rather than the office he had upstairs.

This must be a Pagan rit as its a green recycling wheelie bin, birth and rebirth indeed. In a previous life I was Old Knudsen but that was from an alien comtaminate that breeched the filters of my spaceship and caused me to clone. I don't wish to talk about it, bloody good sex though.

The Reverend Love may have used his sex swing to baptise the sinners but its all good in the eye of the Lard as long as he gets a soul to feed off.

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Daisy said...

only a man would pick a bin to baptize someone poor soul in...only a man

Selchie said...

great post, glad you put me in my place... more tea?...)

MJ said...

When do we get to speak in tongues, roll in the aisles and and handle snakes?

donncoppens said...

I think that the ultra orthodox paper definitely needs a page 3 girl...those f*ckers need to lighten up.

You make some very astute observations about women being satisfied to be second class congregants. HELLO!

I had no idea that Wicca was so dull? I just thought that they burned a tourist in big wicker cages once a year...preferably a detective.

Old Knudsen said...

daisy maybe there was someone on the toilet.

selchie you say that but you grasp the butter knife tightly.

MJ After the sacramental bottle of beat the wife.

DC I just watched the new Wickerman on the telly and it shall face my scorn.