Monday, 6 April 2009

TMI Ya Slapper

Standing erect for you was already a name of a blog so they had to say 'tall'.

Sally Field wants you to like her, she really wants you to like her, and why? because she is a cockacidal maniac thats why. I was bored drinking from a tin of varnish and wishing that God would let old Knudsen die when during the commercials of Medium which is about some woman who used to fit into small during the 80's but is now barely keeping to a medium.

I think that is what the show is about I was too busy telling Philip Seymour Hoffman to shout his fat mouth, you know what hes like with a few in him he never shuts up about the craft of acting, like I don't know a thing about it.

"Yes we at this table all like big thick healthy throbbing bones."

Ms Fields was going on about Osteoporosis. I don't give a fuck what she caught off Burt Reynolds, keep yer deadliest catch to yerself.

She was diagnosed with it as she approached the age of 60, for fucks sake who knows who she passed it on to, its like herpes you know there is no cure.

There she was in all her glory talking about doing things with her hips and how she doesn't like bone loss. I'm sure she could pay for plenty of bones but will they do it and risk catching Osteoporosis?

What ever happened to sending out letters like "Hey I'm sorry but you may want to get checked out by a doctor after our night of sex?" Yes I'd leave that note on the bathroom mirror for me wife to find, thats caring and responsible right? What does Fields do? she blabs it all over the telly.

The thing is you just never know who has it. Look at this young hot woman, you'd never guess about her various discharges would you? Which reminds me I should send her a letter telling her to get a check up.

I won't give out her name as I am a gentleman of honour and I never kiss and tell and by the way, kissing on the mouth is fer poofs.

Ha ha April fool, its 94% ya daft cunts! Well its still April and you are all fools.

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MJ said...

It was a military discharge.

donncoppens said...

What a coinky-dink?
I had a rather intense inspection of fine Mexican Porcelin on my very first night while I made a local call to senor R-R-R-Ralph.

My good-lady-wife was kind enough to leave me in a pretzelian position on the fine (cold) mexican tile floor in los banos...

but only after she was thoroughly convinced that I was still breathing.