Thursday, 2 April 2009

This blog is open to invited readers only

This blog is open to invited readers only

So did you all get the invites? It made you feel special right? Did I miss anyone out and if so were yer feeling hurt or did you say, "well at least I don't have to read that crap anymore?"

I only went personal because I like drama and want it all to be about me, this will teach you bitches for not reading me more, ha! feel the burn of my sword of gonorrhea. I bet you all sat there and cried a river and thought about ending it all.

No I went personal because one of my family found my blog and saw the smut I post. I was sore ashamed. Nah not really if me Ma can't take a joke then fuck the bitch what has she ever done for me? Well there was that time she turned me over to the Saxons and at the time I thought it was betrayal as I was tortured for 18 hours but she was right it was for my own good, I can see that now. Ah the perspective of old age.

No I went personal because a co-worker didn't like the way I called them a fat lazy fucker who scratches their hole and then sniffs their finger as they serve you in the canteen. I'm the one who changes and puts out the saw dust on the floor, office workers can sure be bitchy sometimes.

No I went personal because of nasty spammers, what have ya got something better to do? I haven't been spammed in ages, lazy crazy immature cunts. I'm sure attacking Savannah was very satisfying. I should do a list of bloggers who are nut jobs and not to be trusted. I mean besides the ones in my links.
Rule of thumb: If someone has deleted, removed and completely changed their blog on numerous occasions citing that someone is after them there is a 96% chance that they are fucking nut jobs.
Hey what do I know? yer such a good judge of character.

No I went personal because the doctor changed my meds and I saw the futility of blogging for free and am writing a book ............. yes a book, on paper ................... yes people still buy those things, like newspapers they will always be around. Did you get that I was being sarcastic there?

I'm off to buy a HD-DVD player because Blue-ray is a flash in the pan, ok I may have been wrong about 8 tracks and Beta VCR's but this time I'm certain.

DVD's and CD's are quickly becoming obselete only older people buy books now and we are quickly dying out. Unless its penis books and then MJ will keep them in business.

No I went personal to appear more popular than I actually am. I want all you cunts to imagine me having a secret Skull and Bones club going on with really funny blog posts and only the chosen few can join in. Yes its like school all over again.

Ok the real reason, Old Knudsen is not a blogger he is a force of nature. If you look deep into his eyes and past his cataracts you will see his inner god. We are all dieties some are the god of cum stains while others like Old Knudsen are the gods of hidden knowledge and occult learnings. Old Knudsen has forgotten more than .................... who are you people and what are you doing in my living room?

Old Knudsen is as changable and unpredictable as the sea, he is also cold and wet. Does the sea ever explain herself? take my salty spray all over yer face and ponder what it is all about.

If you didn't notice any change and just clicked on me for the first time this week then you missed all the fun and I deleted it as it was too racy and could have brought doon nations..... yer loss.

I have one question for you all: Is it safe?

The above film *The Snickers man* scared generations of Brits and thus contributed to the poor dental hygiene in the UK. What has this got to do with anything? Well World War one and the sequel which was better than the first 'World War II this time its personal' and the film is about Nazis and when you think about Nazis you think of Argentina and then Germany right?

You see this stream of consciousness is the reason that I stand outside of society looking in as I live in that gray area between madness and genius known as my hoose, the local police have asked me to take the tin foil off me roof as it distracts their ghetto birds when the sun shines onto it.
Yeah right I studied under Nikola Tesla and later under Sir Robert Watson-Watt I know what mind control/brain fryers they have.

So anyway the G-20 are performing in London at the mo, 50 cent and Method man are there with the Obamas who not only hugged the Queen but gave her an i-Pod. Prince Philip extended his hand to shake Obama's hand and Obama instead of a hand shake he gave him some of that negro dap.

Gordon brown is being treated a bit better by the president and no wonder, France and Germany are siding up together, bring on 'World War III the end of times'.

Since Mago lives in the magic land of Franconia where the unicorns run free he should be safe . I think we should nuke the fuck out of Germany before they build up their forces again.

Be a bit more grateful to the great Satan ya Nazi cunts you wouldn't have an economy if it wasn't for America and Britain re-building yer cuntry after they bombed it, and it was yer fault .............. twice!

France? who gives a shit what they think?

What about those riots in London then? fucking mad it was. I would have loved to fire a few rounds of rubber or plastic bullets into those hippy student cunts but all the English police had was their batons and a stern tone of voice. I think the crowd needs a few stockbrokers beheaded to appease them.

My restraining orders have not been added as there are well over 350 of them but all my awards from you brown nosing cunts have been added to a different blog the link you'll find on me side board there.

I must say the award giving to me has slowed doon rightly, what the fuk? has the quality of my blog got so bad? How can you get any worse ya dopey shites? .................. Thinks about The Troll Report blog.

I myself have only given out one award this year as I can not afford the $5000 that goes along with it too often so get working on getting my attention, witty blog posts and naked pictures are a good start.

*Marathon being the old name for the Snicker bars in the UK*

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Leah said...

I'm now convinced you're a mad mad genius.

mago said...

You could try to conquer the Continent ...

Boxer said...

you went on Spring Break, didn't you?

"Old Bitter Balls Gone Wild"

On VHS Only.

MJ said...

I bought the last three Penis Books on the shelf.

You should have seen the look the clerk gave me when I asked for more.

TachaƩ said...


savannah said...

was that your april fools' joke, sugar? ;) xoxo

(i am a proud member of the you-know-what-nation, sugar...and y'all know this!)

Old Knudsen said...

leah invest in bubbles.

mago I have tried to conquer incontinence for years.

boxer I have many beads of woe up me arse right now.

Mj you should let the clerk rest for 10 minutes.

tachae yes it was alllll about you.

savannah I shall do my April fools joke in June, HA!

Selchie said...

no I didnt get an invite!!.. boo hoo...

hope u had a nice hols)
Like the bit about mind control, v funny. Yeah did watch the riots, dunno whats the matter with people, it's not like the banks steal our money or anything...

Happy days mr.)