Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Knudsen Takes A Day Off

Stamps now cost 42 cents and the post office fails to make profits during times like Christmas, what is wrong with this picture?

Its Ceasar Chavez day or was yesterday and maybe so today I don't know, this cuntry doesn't know its arse from its elbow.

He was a legendary farm worker/civil rights leader. Then again his birthday, March 31, and is celebrated in Callyfornia as a state holiday, in honour of Chavez's life and work. All state government offices, community colleges, and most libraries are closed.

Chavez with one of his chavs.

So do we not get mail yesterday, today or both days? All I know is on Saturdays I get junk mail and the next day after any day off the mail is always late and sometimes just doesn't turn up. I was spoiled in the UK with some bloke on a bike pedaling through the town putting the mail through the letter box in the front door in the early morning. Now I wait and wait and oh was that a mail van? one of those wee white ghey electric things? they put the mail into a box by the kerb, if you get a parcel they may break it into 1000 bits in order for it too fit as bringing it too yer door is like work, in fact one guy even asked me to take a box to a hoose two doors doon from me. Away and fuck lad do I get paid to fuck up the mail?

Then you get yer neighbour's mail, its amazing the bills my neighbours owe. I must point out that tampering with the mail is a federal offense so don't get caught. Then you go into government buildings and see signs that say threatening a federal employee is an offense, yep there goes yer American imaginary freedom of speech.

Schwarzenegger is wanting to fire tons of Callyfornia state workers to balance the state budget as he has already screwed over the old, poor and disabled. California’s 200,000 odd state employees enjoy 13 official holidays and one floating paid personal day off.

The state must pay overtime to 'essential' employees, such as California Highway Patrol officers, who are required to work on holidays at about $10 million for each holiday not individually I must add. Don't worry they make sure they give out $20 million in traffic tickets, they have quotas you know.

Speaking of not being real cops my town has a ton of bicycle cops as I once mentioned seeing about 5 bikes outside of IHOP they sort of remind me of Mormons as they go around on bikes too. Now there is a peeler lady on a segway, whats next roller skates and skate boards? "Oh fuck run its the unicycle police!"

The police have a lot of holidays too, well they must as I never see them and they never turn up when you call them. Upon saying that Old Knudsen has tremendous respect for police officers and was a big fan of The Shield when it was on.

Speaking of which I watch 'The Unit' which is about yank special farces, 3 actors from The Shield were in one episode.

Ok then back to base heads:

It must be so difficult to balance the state budget when yer always off on some holiday. Also considering elected officials work like senators work something like 4 months out of the year..... Define 'work'.

The poor Federal employees only get 10 legal holidays like Denzel Washington's birthday, Columbus day and of course Christmas day among some ................ hold on isn't Christmas a religious holiday? Who is more important God or Jesus? why isn't God's birthday celebrated? or Buddha or Satan? oh thats right we only know when Jesus' birthday is because his birth certificate was among the dead sea scrolls, bad luck Muhammad ya pedo.

Professor One ear worked this out for me cos I'm nay two bright:

Almost everyone gets 2 weeks off (legal holidays excluding weekends) + annual vacation (avg. 2 weeks) + weekends (96 days) = 116 days off a year! + paid sick leave.

Yes some work weekends like hoors and waiters or creative waiter/hoors like Manuel but usually no more than 40 hrs a week unless they have a speed habit to fund.

The school kids are even more lazy with all their winter/spring/summer breaks and considering many classes are an excuse to watch the teacher's favourite movie or catch up on yer sleep they live the life of Knudsen.

Many teachers are too busy at the minute looking for second jobs while they are off. There is that saying that 'does who can't do teach' well it looks like they have to do also.

So spare a thought for the non-fired governement workers with good pay and benefits. It must be tough trying to fit in work around all the holidays and be a twat to the public at the same time.

Chavez and MLK jr get a holidays for shit stirring, Presidents get a holiday for being corrupt and Columbus gets a day for accidentally finding America that had already been found several times over. Halloween doesn't get a day nor does 9/11. Talk to those in retail about the paid holidays its a rigged game.

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Daisy said...

just so you know i am a state employee and yes we get 5 paid days off a year...however as i work on a salary wage and work between 10-12 per day and usually at least one weekend day (without any extra pay) i damn well make up for it and then some...and i am a front line worker, meaning i deal out in the public daily so i don't want to hear shit about it

MJ said...

Stamps now cost 54 cents in Canada yet I continue to mail prizes out to you ungrateful bitches.

tony said...

Chavs Rool!

CHEF TROLL said...

I threw faux-molotov-cocktails at Chavez and his crew. (Wick lit and soaked in gas but just water in the bottle). Scared the shit out of them.

Then we found out where they were staying and the fun really started. Not sure if the Statute of Limitations has expired on those night-rides, so no details.

Good times. Pretty good pay.

Selchie said...

i nearly choked on my cigarette. Love the government bit. Cheers.)