Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Special K Returns

I'm been really working my abs, anglos, saxons and glutes and look at the result. I never once knowingly took stair rods but my manager Buddy did make up special shakes and injections and I know nothing about their content AND IT MAKES ME FUCKING MAD WHEN PEOPLE JUDGE ME AND THEY DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyhoo I'm no wrestling under my old name Special K as me manager said it sounded like a retarded box of cereal. I am now 'The Killamory Mangler'.

For years I've been writing for the Sci-Fi channel, mostly the movies of the week like Yeti Apocalypse, Raptors in New York, Crocs on a plane and Dragon Wizard which starred Stephen Baldwin which I am surprised didn't win any awards or nominations recently.

Now I get to perform on the Sci-Fi channel because for some reason wrestling is now Sci-Fi. Having only wrestled on the European circuit during the mid to late 60's I've had to adjust some of my moves as breaking necks and snapping spines isn't allowed these days. I wish someone had mentioned this on the first day.

There is a lot of theatrics in wrestling and I have to go against the grain and act as a bad boy. I cum on and shout at someone about having their Ma and it gets the crowd riled up. I hate insulting people so if I see any darkies or Asians I insult them. In their culture insults mean respect.

I now issue this cage fight challenge. I will fight Nicholas Cage because the last 24 of his movies have been shite.

If ya comment expect me to respond in a wrestling manner to ya, you may afeared so only the brave may comment.

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Bass Ackwords said...

Did the steeroids shrink y'er wiener?

Wanna make an extra finsky this week? Make sure that Nicholas Cage never makes another movie.

MJ said...

I want to see you wrestle Manuel.


And oiled.

Old Knudsen said...

Bass erred I'm gonna rip off yer arms and beat ya to death with them and use yer harmless body as a standard lamp.

MJ I'm gonna pin you doon and rub my half nelson all over the ring.

MJ said...

Ha! You think that can stop me?

*waits for Knudsen to put a full nelson on Manuel and shave his arse while he's down*

Anonymous said...

Oh, you read Fabian von Auerswald? Nice pictures, a little gay maybe as all this men in oil.


MJ said...

Apply the body scissors hold to Mago.

Boxer said...

**pulls out the folding chair and waits for the main event**

**hands MJ a beer**

MJ said...

*prepares Jello pit for Boxer*

Boxer said...

**puts on bathing cap**

Manuel said...

christ......I feel responsible for setting you on the path of the GIMP......

Anonymous said...

Beer? I remember.
A jello pig? A bathing cap? The bucket comes only in the pauses ... we have three minutes and one minute pause, in civilized surroundings of course, oh and the oil is NOT heated!

Old Knudsen said...

MJ I'm gonna shave yer arse and fill up the dimples with plaster.

mago I'm gonna rub oil all over you and get you in a head lock and pound you up until you can't stand.

MJ I'm gonna attack you with safety scissors to the nipples and then do a sizemic toss.

boxer that folding chair is gonna be embedded into yer back so when you go to bed you can only sit doon.

mj that jello better be lime or I'll rip off yer head and trifle doon yer neck.

boxer you had better put yer cap in cos your gonna get some real grappling action.

manuel yer gonna be put into my gimp box until you make me yer own personal christ figure.

mago you had better drink beer cos I'm gonna punish you in fact I'm gonna bust yer ass.

Leah said...

Now I'm just too scared to comment, so I won't.

Manuel said...

you fucking wish.....