Friday, 27 February 2009

No Seriously

la la la la la, la la la la la.

da da da.

la la la la la , la la la la la.



I have better things to do

I wanna focus on my .............................................................................. porn career.

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I have a great post tomorrow by the way, I'm am so super psyched. Its like a cross between Alien versus Predator and High noon with a tad of The way we were thrown in. I have this little worm that digs its way out of my head and tells me these ideas, I call him Andy, no not the worm the guy hanging from the rafters in me garage, he doesn't look like an Andy but that is the clever part of it.

I remember the first time I found out that bodies kept for any length of time may swell up and explode. I was on me way to the job centre when I saw in the bushes what looked like one of them black velvet riding hats, it was too small for me but I kept it anyway. I wondered how they lost it and then out of the sky a bright light appeared fuck I hate the sun it still burns after all these years and as for garlic do you want to smell garlic farts for 5 days? no really its an offer.

Ever notice how garlic and Gaelic are similar? which is funny cos the Irish smell too and I can't understand a thing that garlic says.

The easiest way to poison someone is to inject Hydroclorisamide into their toothpaste, just enough to get used up, it works in 3 hours and is almost undetectable and by the time anyone looks the trace elements are gone. I never brush me teeth with toothpaste I use paint thinners, shit now you know.

I'm not saying anything for certain but 'William Holden' shite films, cause of death he fell and hit his head on a bed side table. It was 3 hours after brushing his teeth.

Now I have to go underground I've said too much, see what blogging does? its like torture but thats enough about reading yer blogs.


MJ said...

Ever notice how garlic and Gaelic are similar?

No, I hadn't and now you've given me food for thought.

This is one of many reasons we need you.

Don't let that woman put a crease in your cap. I don't want to pay to have it reblocked.

Boxer said...

I'm a bit annoyed. You should take better care of that cap.

Momentary Madness said...

I hope you manage to get your nose out of her arse.

Anonymous said...

You should really consider to redecorate your fireplace.

angela's ashes said...

Mago is right the Feng Shway is all wrong in that room. For a start the woman is squatting on her toes (fa chrissake). That will hurt after a while. Also she has forgotten to take off her underpants. The both of you will need to do better than this if you're going to make it as a porn star. You should stick with blogging you're really good at it.

HoodChick said...

You're such a tease.

"Alien versus Predator and High noon with a tad of The way we were" - get writing dammit!

(oh, and I know you weren't dissing my blog, since I haven't posted shit since Monday)

Donn Coppens said...

You complete me.
The first photo must be extraordinarily shocking because my computer has blocked it! Maybe it's because I'm now using Vatican 2.D'oh! spyware? Hey it was free?

Just Another Faceless Commenter said...

See, I told you. 3 days.


M@ said...

I love secrets.

Anonymous said...

"Hornivore in exil" - Jaysus ...

Now move your lazy ass over here and tell us the truth! That's your goddam job!
We are showing SYMPtoms, man! It's in the bible and means "hanger", you scotiroantichrist.
The cap should be put next to other malicious artefacts on an exoplanet far away together with Al Bundy's hammer and the Norwegian Blue. Maybe some other pieces should come into that collection - any suggestions?

If Knudsen's dead we should try to gain best benefit from it: Relics! Reliquien - let's think about relics and traces of the holy man! How to venerate, how to spoil and: HOW MUCH?

I'm in with 1 Euro for a haematom I received from his size ten boot, but it's shrinking ...

Anonymous said...

I tried to learn Gaelic through osmosis but it didn't work. You'd have thought that 1/2 Irish in me would have woken up and started speaking it, but naaaay. My dominatrix German half must still have her in a head lock.

I was wondering where my velvet riding hat went..

It's about time you came with a warning by the way...