Saturday 10 January 2009

Deaf To Joe The Plumber

Its true I haven't been around the Blogs as much as I'd like to of late. Well thats a lie if I wanted to go around you pack of cunts I would . I've been busy getting ready for the great depression. Plenty of ammo, beer and antidepressants. Maybe I should return to Killamory at least I'd be safe there as long as I could keep up with my false identity of course. Those police think they are so smart and I don't care how much DNA was recovered you need to find a body. I don't want ta fucking talk about it, you don't understand you weren't there.

So any way in the style of the ugly American abroad Joe the Plumber is going to Israel as a war correspondent for the conservative Web site pjtv.com. Joe Wurzelbacher who backed the presidential loser John McCain will be dipping his unworldly and poorly educated oar into the field of foreign affairs and I don't mean fucking some Turkish hoor while away on yer honeymoon which I must add was justified as my 7th wife and I were on a split at the time.

He doesn't think any harm will cum to him because he is Christian and will be protected by God. Well thats what John the baptist and Jesus the upholsterer said too.



It isn't called the Holy land for nothing.

Back story.
Palestine is fucked. Israel was formed after WWII taking over Arab land instead of being given parts of Germany. At one time Palestine asked their Arab friends to help them but the other Arabs said, "Hold Palestine as an example of Arab pride, you shall be remembered well."

Hamas which is a political/terrorist organisation like Hezbollah and Sinn Fein were supported and voted in by the idiot Palestinian people thus sealing their own fate. My sympathies to the children caught up in the war but you were only going to grow up to be a dickhead like yer parents.

Hamas won't stop firing missiles into Israel and these rockets are getting in further so Israel being sensible has taken the advice my late father once gave me, " Hey fuck face, if you ever get into a fight pick up something and hit the other guy with it and make sure they don't get up, now go to yer ma and get yer nappy changed you smell like beefy shit lad."


Joe who supports Israel is going over in an unbiased way to ask the Israelis.

1) Are Arabs cunts or what?

2) If you were a colour what colour would you be?

3) Did you kill Jesus because he was white and had blue eyes?

and

4) Why is everything so small over here? In America we have big buildings and big bombs the only thing thats big here is yer noses.


Please Jews if you want to make up for killing Jesus feel free to torture Joe and nail him to a cross.
Make him suffer for my sins which are pretty substantial, just ask yer ma.


I, Punch drunk airline pilot recently flew over to Israel for a holiday and a spiritual pilgrimage. I went for the old 'when in Rome do as the Romans do thing.'


So I gave into Jew peer pressure and signed the death warrant for a diety . Ame-No-Tanabata-Hime-No-Mikoto. No one you'd know a Shinto Goddess of weavers, all the good ones have been done already.

Then I washed my hands over the whole thing, but not in their water. Male piss is sterile so I used that thus sterilising my hands. Then I amazed the local weemen by picking up peanuts with me foreskin and afterwards I showed them why a foreskin is so important ......... ribbed for her pleasure is the term. What is better a covenant between man and God or a wife with multiple orgasms?


I've already written a screenplay of Joe's life. Some scenes have already been shot I may have to do a re-write if he gets killed in the middle east ................. C'mon Hamas ya useless cunts just aim for the large shiny dome.

Here is the main scene of the movie, "Listen up Obama you high yellow terrorist negro, I wanna hear yer tax plans and I wanna hear them NOW!"



Joe the Plumber, he doesn't take any shit from low flow toilets . This film has not yet been made.



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10 comments:

Daisy said...

Now that is the way to start a weekend!

Leah said...

Ah, Knudsen, you've taken on the Gaza issue--I couldn't--but you made me laugh; I'm sort of in love with this post.

Daisy said...

oh it just tickles me so when someone quotes the bible as a fact...tickles me to my core...

Old Knudsen said...

daisy you could start it off drunk, that would be better.

leah I felt it my duty to take it on as the world doesn't know what the fuck is going on, thanks to the BBC news.

Trolly wrong wrong wrong wrong Scotland was re-gifted and given to me and after I kicked the English out it turned out quite nice. God didn't say anything about America either did he use that as a dumping ground for all the wankers too?
I saw Jon Voight play Moses on the Ark I think I know what I'm talking about.

daisy the Bible is fact all you have to do is watch the History channel, Troll is just a moron maybe mormom I also suspect that Satan speaks through him.

Captain Smack said...

From your post, I gather that there is some type of conflict going on in one of those non-American places, one of those countries with all the foreigners. Has this been going on for very long? Well, I'm sure they'll get it worked out soon, how bad can it be.

As for Joe the Plumber, I definitely hope they do not nail him to a cross, or any other large wooden object, as I couldn't handle him becoming a martyr. We have enough trouble dealing with that other guy's followers.

The Mistress said...

My drain needs unclogging.

Are you up for it?

Just Another Faceless Commenter said...

Yep, what Daisy said.

Old Knudsen said...

MM did his face light up? mine would cos she is hot no matter.

faceless Did you hear that they dug up some big jugs in the middle east? therefore the story of the wedding in which Jesus turned water into wine is true.

Romeo Morningwood said...

Gawd I hope the rapture doesn't happen before Joe starts reporting.
*crosses fingers

Just Another Faceless Commenter said...

I've never seen any big jugs from the Middle East that were real, so it can't be true.