Can ya smell that ? its my old Pagan soul stirring. I may have been converted into Christianity by John the Baptist which isn't an accurate name as he wasn't a Baptist he was a Presbyterian just like Jesus.
I still get the urge to fuck goats and eat babies as Pagans do but I control it and leave the babies alone.
It used to be held on 15 th May but now it starts on the 30th April with great bonfires that would mark a time of purification and transition, heralding in the season in the hope of a good harvest later in the year.
Religion back then wasn't about buggering young boys and keeping weemen folk doon that may have been an incentive to convert but religion then was life and death and living off the Earth 'Mother Earth' the great Goddess and respecting her as she gave us life.
We'd feast and jump 3 times through the fires to bring prosperity and purify ourselves in the smoke of our charred bodies ah good times.
Dancing around the Maypole on May day or the first of May was to celebrate the great God's penis penetrating the Earth and impregnating the great Goddess so she'd give us a bumper crop and none of this food shortage shite which is where we are all going wrong.
Being a fine Christian man I still honour the old ways but in a church approved way. I'd go to the Killamory strip club and watch a pole dance, the ugly ones are put on during the day but its religion so that's ok, I refuse a lap dance as that's Satan's dance and besides I'm saving meself for a visit to Old Tom's goat farm where I feed the goats then afterwards I'll chain smoke 3 cigarettes while I relax in the hay with Betty my goat friend.
I start to get hungry and I think, 'I could murder a Chinese' but murder is wrong so I beat up a Slav instead and feast on KFC.
1 cup butter unsalted, softened
2 1/4 cups flour, all-purpose
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups powdered sugar sifted
3/4 cup walnuts chopped
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Who the fuck cares?
I hope you all have a happy Beltane and I hope you Wiccans will fuck off and stop giving Pagans a bad name.
Have a fruitful harvest or do it up the bum no babies, whatever just keep sending me the pictures.