Monday 22 December 2008

Oldest Celebrity Blogger And Its Not Fucking Well Me!


CUNT CUNT CUNTY CUNT CUNT What am I just some 15 year-old chronic masturbater pretending to be old? Did I not blog about how the Jews black balled me from Hollywood for wearing a fake nose before it all became the trend? Did I not have a part in the 1995 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie as 'scared old man #2'?

I've been passed over by angels of death and over looked by the Irish blog awards more times than you've had hot dinners and now this!

Kirk Douglas aged a measly 92 has become the oldest celebrity blogger on social networking Web site MySpace. Well he must be a pedo then, um sure I have a MySpace site as listed on my sidebar but that was just to get into that fella from Ghosthunter's site cos I have the horn for the Kris gurl on the show.
I have 3 friends and one of them is that Tom cunt who is everyone's friend and that Douglas fella may have 4,400 friends but how many of those cunts are really his friend? me and Tom stayed up all night drinking apple schnapps and playing Tekken 3.

He says:

"I express my opinion, and I tell them that they don't have to agree with me because it's a free country," he said. "And their answers are very, very interesting."

Oh really I never get any interesting answers on my blog, yer a cunt Mr Douglas!

In an online universe where blogs are often grammatically incorrect or stream-of-consciousness screeds, Douglas' distinguishes himself with reasoned entries that cover everything from acting (he calls it "a disease") to his memories of once spending Thanksgiving in Pakistan.

I spent 4 Thanksgivings in a Russian Gulag and I don't even celebrate it, how about that you oh so interesting person? thousands of Pakkies spend Thanksgiving in Pakistan do you think they are bragging about it?

He also brings humor to his site. When listing his favorite movies he wrote, "'Champion,' 'Spartacus,' 'Paths of Glory' and 'Lonely Are the Brave' (I just happen to be in these movies.)"

Well I hate to tell him but I'm Spartacus! also I'm fucking hilarious or so me mammy says.

"All the comments that he gets on his page are so supportive, and people really find him truly inspirational," said Angie Allgood, director of talent relations at MySpace.

How cum I get all the cunts then? Fuck this Douglas man is really getting my goat.

Douglas, the father of actor Michael Douglas, became a major star in the 1950s and has long been part of Hollywood royalty. As their household got ready for the holidays, the Douglases had a gift on their table addressed to Nancy Reagan, the former U.S. First Lady.

You want to know a secret? Michael Douglas is a cunt too. I have a gift addressed to Clark Gable on my table, it doesn't mean the dead wanker is going to get it, I just have it there for nosy reporters.

Blogging is only part of Douglas' life, something the actor began in March 2007 to promote his memoir "Let's Face It."

I do it because I love people, not to promote myself. I have got many e-mails saying about how people are having a bad day until they read my blog then they laugh and everything isn't so bad. The cunts didn't call me inspirational or anything but still.

Douglas in one entry last year wrote that he was receiving too many comments and messages to answer each one personally, which was his goal when he started.

"But I want you to know that I appreciate each comment that I receive -- positive or negative. And I enjoy the opportunity to talk to so many people much younger than I am," he wrote.

You know what? sometimes I just can't be arsed too. He enjoys talking to people much younger and firmer than he is, see? a pedo.

Douglas in person tends to punctuate his phrases with short jabs of his hands, like a boxer, and on his blogs he makes full use of mood icons such as an animated cat with accompanying words like "creative" and "contemplative."

Oh fucking LOL while yer at it.

He said even though his wife, Anne, is more computer literate than"I take it seriously. Otherwise I wouldn't do it," he said. "I don't have to do it, I don't make money. It's something that gives me personal satisfaction."

It does promote yer books though, speaking of which go to my Knudsen Shop blog and buy my books for someone special. I don't have to wank it's something that gives me personal satisfaction and seals envelopes.

You ain't all that Mr Douglas, you have just earned yerself a place on my hit-list, I have warts older than you. I'd give out yer MySpace address but yer a cunt. Kirky lad go to 'my' space and beg to be my friend.

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5 comments:

Just Another Faceless Commenter said...

He doesn't captain a starship, so I fail to see what's so impressive about this Kirk person.

Jenny said...

damn, you didn't link him on your blog roll.

The Mistress said...

I saved the envelope you mailed to me containing my Knudsen personal vibrator.

I'm taking it to the lab to see if they can clone you from the envelope "sealant".

Daisy said...

*blushes wildly*

i am afraid i would disappoint knudsen...i can be a terrible cunt at times...

MarlaSinger said...

you still have a place in my heart as oldest stinkiest blogger.

dont bathe... its tacky we love you just the way you are.