Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Master Of My Own Domain

Please take a moment and visit my new website at

Enjoy its message and reflect upon its word. Of course tell me what you think as you all know how much I value yer opinions.

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I Know What I'll Be Doing On New Years Eve

If she is yer Ma I apologise deeply but ass is ass. See what I said there? Ma/deeply/ass, guess what some of my plans are going to be. My subconscious just cums out so obviously ...... NO! I'm not cumming out ask yer Ma if I'm ghey.

I'm dressed up, liquored up and have even washed my parts, a hoor bath cos I'm a manhoor and proud off it.
I won't be going to Times Square in Moscow to see the ball drop, I'll be seeing it get sucked though and Big Ben will strike .................... Ka-Chow!

Happy New Year you pack of unappreciative of my genius cunts. May the road be winding and the lights so blinding and may the wind be from yer backside. Thats an old Scottish pervert er I mean proverb.

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Tuesday, 30 December 2008

Time Is A Ticking

C'mon people his time is nearly up, get yer digs in while hes still current and in the news. Obama will be a boring Blog fodder President.

Bush has connections and has a shoe in (get it?) at getting a fast food job. Would you trust this man to get yer order right? You trusted him to run the cuntry for 8 years.

"Is that a large fry? I'm not asking you I'm gonna sell you it no matter and give you a small fry and blame some guy at the back."

His portrait shows him wearing a cap as a survey said 'A President without a cap is to be mocked' now history will remember him fondly.

Sometimes shit just floats to the top..................... Lack of moral fiber will do that.

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Monday, 29 December 2008

Condensed Braneglina News From 2008 And What Will Come In 2009

Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie will never be friends. Dung dung da da dung dung dung dung dunnnnngggg.

Movie stars and TV stars do not mix.

Angie hears that Brad called Jen. Who would have thought that business partners of the production company Plan B Entertainment would have to talk?

Angie is furious.

News of splitting up spreads as arguments about Jen, which house they will live in and who has the hottest lips rage on.

Angie Calls Jen to make the peace and Jen says, "Whatever."

Brad angry over phone call and couple are seen separately out in public, divorce seems immanent.

Jen dates a lot and strips off in public as a snub to Brad.

Angie is still way hotter than Jen and you just know she is better in bed .

Brad sees this blog post and is furious.

Pregnant Angelina seen out without Brad picking up some more kids the couple must be divorcing.

Matthew Broderick is furious. Wouldn't you be waking up to that every day?

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News Flash!!!!!!!!

You know those wise fables that have the moral message like build yer hoose with stick yer a dick and build it with hay and yer ghey? well I have news for you, the three little pigs are sooooo FUCKED!

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Sunday, 28 December 2008

Old Knudsen Obsession # 350

Old Knudsen is a huge fan of the TV series Battlestar Galactica especially of the acting talents of one of lesser cast members whose role I'm glad to say has grown quite nicely.

Rekha Sharma a tasty young lady of Indian flavouring from India that is but a native of Vancouver, Canada has been nice enough to present Old Knudsen with his 350th restraining order.

They say stay away but are nice enough to give it to me in person with a peck on the cheek. When I get through understanding weemen then I'll let you know my findings.

She is a devotee of the great Indian saint and humanitarian 'Mata Amritanandamayi' if that is indeed a real name.

I was half watching this crap sci-fi show called 'The Sanctuary' and was about to turn it off and go torture yon nieghbour I have tied up in the garage ................ you should always take time to get to know yer nieghbours at least their pin numbers. Then I saw Rekha was guesting in the show as a bitchy, pushy reporter with a knee high skirt and great ass so I watched the show as the nieghbour needed time to heal anyway.

Rekha can act. Not just a pretty gurl but a talented one too. My hand hovered over the speed dial to see if she really did change her number but I was good. I'll wait for her to call me.

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Saturday, 27 December 2008

Scotland Where The Weemen Are Smokin

Great news people even with the world wide recession that has caused many a depression the number of young people smoking in Scotland has returned to the fantastic levels not seen for the last 10 years.

In fact nearly a third of people between 16-24 are smokers. I am excited about this, when the world falls apart you can always count on Scotland.

The government says more needs to be done to start the smokers at an early age and are looking to Glasgow Airport hero John Smeaton to lead the smoking campaign.

John Smeaton holding up his medal for smoke breaks in the face of terrorism.

John Smeaton gained world fame when he kicked a suicide car bomber in the knackers while on a smoke break during the attack on Glasgow airport.

In the 16-19 age group, young women generally have higher smoking rates than young men. In the 20-24 age group, male rates exceed female rates. Yes the race is on.

A study in America sponsored by Marlboro has found that smoking makes you look cool and more mature. The second hand smoke from smoldering terrorists is twice more likely to give you lung cancer than tobacco.

Public Health Minister Shona Robison said: "We are committed to doing all we can to increasing smoking rates in Scotland - both by encouraging more smokers to start and encouraging young people to see it as part of our national identity."

In Old Knudsen's own special opinion if you kiss a woman and she doesn't taste like an old ash tray then she isn't worth a second shag. Ach I do miss the Killamory weemen, their facial hair tickled my balls in only the way a mannish Scottish woman could.

Gog bless you Smeato for you are the new Braveheart ................. smoking with asthma takes courage, you try it if yer man enough.

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Friday, 26 December 2008

Just a thought

So anyway I was thinking about putting this on Christmas cards for next year.

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Old Knudsen Still Refuses To Give A Fuck

Every day that my blog continues to be up amazes me. All the complaints I've had over various little things and the people who have taken offense about me, not the Jews this time but the Catholics when I slag off pedo priests and the Pope. Whats yer problem can't handle the truth? Yeah many people can't.

"Wah wah wah why does my life suck so much?" well yer a fat lazy cunt who won't address yer issues also you live in denial and self pity.............. see? not many people like the truth.

Those people project their problems and find someone else or something else to focus on. Fucking Immigrants, fucking fundies, fucking ragheads. You see if I complain about something I do it out of boredom because 'I don't give a fuck about you cos yer a dickhead too, see yer mate in the corner there hes a dickhead like you'. Sorry its a song but still I only really hate criminals like rapists, murderers, pedos also Lemurs and idiots.

If yer a raping murdering Lemur pedo thats as thick as pig shit but also happen to be Arabic and Catholic then I'll call you a Fenian raghead lemur mong cunt cos I call a spade a spade I've got nothing against everyone else though I do hate you all, doesn't mean I won't share a cup of blood or shag you just don't ask to borrow $5.00.

I blog what I like and if people read then fine but if you take offense just don't read, many do or rather don't.

I just wanted to remind everyone that I really don't give a fuck and if I get shut doon via the old vague 'terms and conditions' clause that no one follows but really just means some uptight prig complained I'll just pop up somewhere else so what have those people achieved I mean its not like I'm paranoid and copy all my posts HA HA! you know I do.

After my painful four hour erection I will just rise up again just like Jesus.

My compliments have outnumbered the complaints but it just takes one twat who doesn't get it.

Now time for a game. Find the Nazi ghey bashing Pope.

Step right up and keep yer eye on the Pope is he under this hat or this hat? Keep watching my hand is quicker than yer mind.

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Boxing Day ...... Hit Someone You Love ... Or Not

A real advert and real directions. Might cum in pretty handy for Boxing day (Today) cos after all that Turkey protein and drink yer farts are going to be a blast.
I always had the idea of sticking a Glade Plug-in or stick-up, up yer hole to fart summer meadows or piney fresh goodness. Yet another of Old Knudsen's ideas stolen by the man. They have a wire tap in my head you know. They know I know but they don't care you know?

  1. Peel off adhesive and stick Subtle Butt onto the inside of your underwear or pants, exactly where you think it goes.
  2. Go for it, Let'er rip, Have at it, Cut loose, Break wind, Gas it up
  3. When you're done wearing Subtle Butt, remove and discard. If any adhesive traces remain, use a damp cloth for removal.

Tips for Success:

  1. You want all the gas to pass through Subtle Butt. So do what you need to do to ensure none sneaks around the edges.
  2. Subtle Butt can be applied to thongs by wrapping and securing it around the back.

Why would I wrap them around my thongs? I don't fart through my feet ......... though sometimes I do dribble doon to them. I'm old don't forget making it to the bog is a good day for me.

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Thursday, 25 December 2008

Commie, Slav And Dead, Happy Christmas

In 1989 on this beautiful Christmas day deposed Romanian president Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife Elena were shot by a firing squad after a secret military tribunal found them both guilty of crimes against the state.

They were charged with genocide , undermining the national economy and being way too Slavic.

The White House said it was "regrettable" the trial had not been held in public. Maybe they wanted to be mocked and disrespected like in the Saddam trial. Silly yanks whats with all this trial business anyway? Lets put Mugabe on trial oh I wonder if he is innocent or not.

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Ho fucking Ho

Its Christmas there is a need to be afraid. A review of my year because there is nothing people like better than to rehash all the stuff they couldn't be arsed reading the first time. I can tell by yer comments that either make no sense or are just LOL that you are drunk, stupid, both or just didn't read the post.

I'm doing this for Christmas rather than the New Year because I like to fondle weemen's tits. You expected a rational reason and got honesty instead.

Why you should drink tea and not coffee.

My year started off great I did a post on my news blog about priests appearing in a calendar to recruit young men to the priesthood by showing their human side and the hobbies they enjoy when they aren't diddling young boys.

I don't think being American and liking baseball, home improvement jobs and reading celebrity magazines would attract anyone to join the priesthood not even the pedos.

The Diocese of Leeds
took exception to my post and threatened Google with legal action who in turn told me to remove the post which I did............... sort of, well I changed names and reported about it on this blog.

I hit too close to home with the child molestation thing I reckon.

Who can forget Speedo Sunday? The children can't.

I met Witchpoo a psychic of considerable talent who became a friend, well she had to as she gave me a bunch of awards and described me as:

rages against the injustices of the world:
hides his heart of gold behind naughty images and saucy language:
His mind races at the speed of light:
Brilliant man! And funny, funny, funny:
Warning:Not safe for work, children, or the devout:

Oh stop it, yes its all true. She told me things in my life that should never have happened but did. She has a website where you can pay her for a reading she is on my sidebar and worth a visit ..... she does fart a lot though.

I slagged off plastic surgeons for performing terrible looking boobs jobs, I'll still shag the gurls though.

In February I started talking about Obama being the black Kennedy, lets hope not cos they were all cunts especially Joe Kennedy the Da. I'm still waiting for Ted to die from his brain tumor.

Hurry up you murderer, will he win my celebrity death off?

My friend Buddy wanted me to join the Minutemen which is a club of fat gun carrying rednecks who drink beer and beat up Mexicans, even though that does sound like a lot of fun, sort of like the Masons I think the name can be a bit misleading.

I told Buddy if there is a club called, "The painful four hour erectionmen " then count me in, my member will be a member.

The economy went doon the drain, well they finally admitted it at least. Ireland doesn't look so smug with its Celtic Tiger boom and
Iceland called what Great Britain did when they 'froze' the assets of Icesave an Icelandic bank to protect British investors "An unfriendly act" and nearly went to war, well on my blog they did.

The lovely Hayden from Heroes presented me with a restraining order, isn't she delicious?

I celebrated hot midget sex, warned you idiots about the dangers of lemurs, insulted most religions, races and any minorities just because they were fair game, hey I laughed at myself too. I put up hot and horny pictures, made some friends and slagged of others for being mongs.

What isn't hot about midget sex?

I was bitter about stuff but only the wise could see the true message behind it all. I slept with 478 weemen, 47 men and 18 animals of various types. A lot of them were alive and even conscious and I didn't pay for any of it except in the form of STD's

I did 17 posts in one day for International Blogging day raising millions for the poor and needy however the blogger who was handling the money vanished with all the goods and deleted their blog.

I was called an idiot and made myself cringe with my own Blogjinx, you know when you write something and it happens. I got angry at pedos and the rapist that won the lotto in England and was allowed to keep it.

A cat penis.

My father died on the 1st December and I got a wave of support which I appreciated especially the pity fucks (Thanks Troll) I managed to keep my cap for another year but its getting tougher as weemen want it off me something bad, the cap too.

Without my cap my brain might dry out.

I'm Ulster/Scots the chosen people of God and now I live in sunny Southern Callyfornia a place that doesn't make sense. I keep my hand in working for the government such as the CIA and sometimes as a manhoor and child-minder. A man for all seasons and now I live in a place with no seasons.

The Great Shasta Lemur, they have killed over 90 people this year be warned.

Enjoy my round up or go to my archives and read for yerself, also read my news blog too. Its easy to read and safe for work, shouldn't hurt yer poor wee heads too much.

Have a happy fucking Christmas and may yer Gods treat you well.

Now fuck off!
After yer wank of course.

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How Much Peace?

Just a different name and funny accent.

Ach the memories of bad hair, wee Fenian school kids dressed in dark green and checkpoints. An Australian chick gives her view on Belfast at Christmas in 1978.

Christmas In Belfast 1978

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Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Forgive Me Father For I Have Wanked

Opus Dei are whipping themselves into a frenzy and sending out Albino monks to kill all responsible. Your Lady of Guadalupe was used on a Mexican playboy cover and that bitch is hot!

In a matter of days 80,000 copies were sold so people could religiously wank over their deity. No wonder God raped her not that I'm supporting rape but still dressing like that she is asking for it.

Here we see what Christmas is all about and if you try telling me she was a virgin I'll tell you to catch yerself on.

A robe and high heels just like it says in the Bible. She makes my salty pillar stand up.

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Christmas Prayers

Dear God I pray that peace comes to Somalia, Congo, Zimbabwe and the Middle East. That all the children in the 3rd world have been good for a change so Santa will bring them presents. Please help the world economy to get better and I am thankful that my daddy is a wealthy Politician.

Oh fuck all that God just kill off Old Knudsen he gives me the creeps and you know he wants my sexy body.

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Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Anti-Nazi Cunts

Poor wee Adolf wouldn't get a cake made for him.

I hate small minded bigoted cunts. No I'm not talking about my readers, I love them I really do, except for all of those in my links.

Heath Campbell aged 35 from that sneaky Campbell clan that you invite into yer home and then they kill you in yer sleep named his children Adolf Hitler, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler.

Can you see where this post is going yet? Campbell who denies the Holocaust tried to get a birthday cake for 3 year-old little Adolf with his name on it. The anti-Nazi shop 'ShopRite' in bigoted New Jersey discriminated against him and his off spring and refused to make the cake. His 25-year-old wife Deborah said, "That's sad."

Thats the same shop that wouldn't make a cake for 5 year-old Attila the Hun or 49 year-old Fabio. What cunts!

Ok this is the real Adolf Hitler.

Nazis didn't have a great time during the war either you know the poor wankers lost, yeah hey lets rub it in a bit more.

Before anyone accuses me of being constantly anti-American because I post about stupid Yanks think about this, if they weren't so fucking stupid then I wouldn't be posting about them. I'm anti-moron and if they just happen to be American (The Troll) then so be it.

Now a morality question would you shoot Adolf Hitler if you met him as a 3 year-old child in a cake shop?

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