Shocking news from the world of competitive dying.
Edna Parker, the world's oldest person has unexpectedly died at the age of 115.
Parker died at a nursing home in Shelbyville while she was bench pressing 220 LBS She was 115 years, 220 days old.
Parker was born April 20, 1893, in central Indiana's Morgan County and had been recognized by Guinness World Records as the world's oldest person since the 2007 death in Japan of Yone Minagawa, who was four months her senior. "In yer face Yone" was Parker's response to the news.
Parker had been a widow since her husband, Earl Parker, died in 1939 of an alleged heart attack. She lived alone in their farmhouse until age 100, when she moved into a son's home and later to the Shelbyville nursing home.
Although she never drank alcohol or tried tobacco she liked drinking human blood and led an active life, Parker didn't offer tips for living a long life but put hers doon to being part Lemur on her father's side.
Now that Parker is dead maybe the mysterious deaths that have been occurring in the nursing home may stop.
Who will be the next oldest person alive? the competition is heating up.
"We don't know why she's lived so long," Don Parker said before his grandmother's 115th birthday. " We tried everything but she just kept living ."
Parker noted with pride last year that she and her husband were one of the first owners of an automobile in their rural area of Shelby County. It was a Ford Fiesta.Now that Parker is dead maybe the mysterious deaths that have been occurring in the nursing home may stop.
Who will be the next oldest person alive? the competition is heating up.
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11 comments:
I can tell you that LEAH won't live to a ripe old age if she makes a move for your cap.
Yes, Leah. Don't think I didn't notice you in Old K's list of stalkers.
HAHAHAHA!
Ma Parker's boys were no walk in the park either!
Oh maybe that was Ma Barker.
I thought that Vampyres lived a lot longer..obviously Anne Rice made up all that sh*t pfft!
We can only hope that this asshattery stops and that old people will have the decency to expire in a more timely fashion.
In Canada she would have been plopped out on a clump of ice and shoved out to sea about 40 years ago. This sort of nonsense would cripple our National Health system...and Leopard Seals gotta eat too ya know.
MJ - who is this LEAH and how do we keep the Cap safe?
She's hot.
I'm not sure I would have sex with her.
The pink shirt really brings out the color of her eyes, doesn't it?
Yeah, I'd tap that.
what I find startling, almost paradoxical about the oldest person in the world......
Edna Parker within the second of her death went from being the oldest person - in the world - alive to the youngest - in the underworld - dead.
However you don’t hold the youngest dead position very long, for obvious reasons; (I’m not exactly sure, but approximately) two people die every second. (correct me if I’m wrong)
So Knudsen, how does it fel to be now in number one position?
Don't worry MJ--I lurk now visibly, but I only admire the crabby visage, crusty cap, and nubile thighs from afar.
Thanks!
You Bollix.
Whatta guy!
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