Friday 11 July 2008

The Old On Hold


I may of mentioned before that I am quite old, maybe my name gives it away I don't know blog readers ain't as smart as they used to be. I was an apprentice flint knapper before that fucking bronze age thingy came in, I knew Richard the lion heart before his transplant when he wasn't such a cunt and I also knew Joan of Arc before she met the Arcs and started the band. My moles are so old that some have become sentient and a few have even evolved into primitive life forms, yep I.T. specialists.

Old age will happen to you all, except for yous who will die before then of course, pay me the money I've requested and you'll be ok.























Its a dangerous world out there for a playa like meself, aids are now effecting the elderly. The older generation just won't discuss sex and don't worry about safe sex , some don't think old people or even straight people can get it, not everyone is as well informed as Old Knudsen. In rest homes there are usually less men than weemen and so its like roosters in a hen hoose and doctors don't think to do STD checks on the old so very often mis-diagnose or just put it doon to old age.

So remember you silver lovers out there when you bump uglies practice safe sex such as spitting on the ground and turning 3 times afterwards.



6 comments:

Bunny said...

When my grandpa started dating after my grandma died, he asked my mom a whole ton of questions of modern sexual etiquette (including whether seniors need to bother with condoms) and my mom about died of mortification. Hilarious. Apparently he figured it out, because he was shacking up with his girlfriend within months and they were together for 10 years before he died.

It's hottie oldsters like you causing all the problems. You hook up with young and old, spreading the diseases around. Ya filthy old cunt.

Anonymous said...

Ach Schitt, one thought that finally the time of free rammalong without any damn consequences would arrive - and than that: Spit'n turn until the grave!

The Mistress said...

I blame Viagra.

kimba said...

Can I get a disease if I fondle my bits while reading your filth?

Old Knudsen said...

bunny its bad when you have to ask yer kids for sex advice, he must have thought yer ma was a right goer.

Mago you get to a certain age and say what the fuck? I suppose.

MJ that is in fact true as it wasn't so widespread (not their legs) before.

kimba do you wash yer hands often?

JanieBelle said...

Saw this, thought of you, Old K.

Does this leave you as the top dog now?

Kisses,
JanieBelle