I've been having some problems getting my cheap prescription drugs from Canada as of late and its really playing havoc with my sentence structure and spelling, so kind of you not to say anything.
I asked my mucker Buddy if he knew anywhere that I could get something for my pain until I get me meds. For you arseholes who only read me to get into my gunties I have a corelle plate in my head from the bad landing I had at Normandy and tupperware elbows from the battle of Goose Green, I had 3 rubber toes from Verdun that put a spring in my step but they have since been replaced with polished ivory from an elephant I killed myself of course the zoo was very pissed off about it but animals shouldn't be held in captivity unless yer going to eat them.
Buddy told me of a darkie who hangs around Padre Liquor and sells medications and the like so I walked up there as Buddy took the RV off the Home Depot to pick up an illegal Mexican day worker, you know how they stand in the car park hoping someone needs a worker well I hope Buddy remembers to put plastic down this time and picks one that won't be missed.
Off I walked up the road, it was fucking hot, a tweed jacket and a flat cap sure do keep the cold out, by the time I got up there my socks were soaking as my balls were dripping sweat doon my legs.
I saw the shifty fella with his large brimmed hat complete with a feather and asked if he had any pain medication and something for itching, he told me he only had crack so I said, "two cracks please" and paid my $400.
Interesting stuff I felt great and I felt like I could fly but in reality it wasn't that good and I could only float a little bit. I got home and lay on the couch then I realised I was in the wrong house and was chased out by a fat Mexican bloke then I found my real home obviously someone had been playing tricks on me.
I don't have a sofa anyway so I lay on my bed and snoozed, before long I was under attack, it was dark and the gooks had broken through the perimeter, explosions everywhere.
I asked my mucker Buddy if he knew anywhere that I could get something for my pain until I get me meds. For you arseholes who only read me to get into my gunties I have a corelle plate in my head from the bad landing I had at Normandy and tupperware elbows from the battle of Goose Green, I had 3 rubber toes from Verdun that put a spring in my step but they have since been replaced with polished ivory from an elephant I killed myself of course the zoo was very pissed off about it but animals shouldn't be held in captivity unless yer going to eat them.
Buddy told me of a darkie who hangs around Padre Liquor and sells medications and the like so I walked up there as Buddy took the RV off the Home Depot to pick up an illegal Mexican day worker, you know how they stand in the car park hoping someone needs a worker well I hope Buddy remembers to put plastic down this time and picks one that won't be missed.
Off I walked up the road, it was fucking hot, a tweed jacket and a flat cap sure do keep the cold out, by the time I got up there my socks were soaking as my balls were dripping sweat doon my legs.
I saw the shifty fella with his large brimmed hat complete with a feather and asked if he had any pain medication and something for itching, he told me he only had crack so I said, "two cracks please" and paid my $400.
Interesting stuff I felt great and I felt like I could fly but in reality it wasn't that good and I could only float a little bit. I got home and lay on the couch then I realised I was in the wrong house and was chased out by a fat Mexican bloke then I found my real home obviously someone had been playing tricks on me.
I don't have a sofa anyway so I lay on my bed and snoozed, before long I was under attack, it was dark and the gooks had broken through the perimeter, explosions everywhere.
I reached for my M-16 but only found a .22 cal rifle so I broke my window to shoot out of as opening in would be too easy and returned fire. Al Qaeda must be in league with Charlie as there were a lot of brown people setting off bombs in the street, I got one in the leg and killed his Honda Civic, they sound retreated and then I remembered I wasn't in Nam and had a jar of dill pickles in the fridge right behind that nice young postman's head.
5 comments:
you are looking a little peaky there, OB. You need a holiday.
Grand tale Mr Knudsen really funny it made coke come out of my crack.
About your facelift ... very nice job ... it makes you look distinguished.
Amy Winehoose thinks you're hawt.
I don't really think yer hawt, it's just really hard to see what with my eyeballs going in different directions from me drugs.
Clean your fridge.
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