Saturday 17 May 2008

Saturday Stuff

A toddler's t-shirt trying to explain why their spoilt ADHD sugar high brats always cry.

Posting on Saturday is a waste of time because it seems some people have lives, but not me.

Playing the lottery is also a waste of time so I no longer get a lucky draw for the national lottery for a pound, instead I get a quick pick for the super lotto plus for a dollar.

The lottery is tax for people who can't do maths but its also my retirement plan so fuck off.

Here in way too hot Callyfornia I hear the yanks go on about IRA this and IRA that, this pisses me off as I have served defending my country against the murdering terrorist scum called the IRA (Irish Republican Army) and thought only the wankers in Boston and there abouts were the ones who financed them.

Yes I was embarrassed when I found out that IRA means
Individual Retirement Account.

Yes its a crazy cuntry and people do get punched out by mistake, especially when they say they should invest in the IRA.


I prefer the clap off, imagine that you can get clap in a box and I don't mean a wet fleshy box surrounded by pubes and sores. How is yer ma by the way?


If I thought I could get paid for peeing the bed I'd be a billionaire by now.

I'm looking into real estate at the mo, yes I know the market is shite but I have a plan. I get a load of empty cardboard boxes and go doon to Mexico and sell them as hooses, with such beautiful accommodations they won't want to sneak across the border and do the jobs that Americans are too lazy to do.

My friend Buddy wants me to join the Minutemen which is a club of fat gun carrying rednecks who drink beer and beat up Mexicans, even though that does sound like a lot of fun, sort of like the Masons I think the name can be a bit misleading.

I told Buddy if there is a club called, "The painful four hour erectionmen " then count me in, my member will be a member.


You can just turn a street corner and find a free dinner just waiting for you.



Meet the ghetto bird, a police helicopter that flies over rooftops at night searching for lawbreakers with a light, sometimes they just go round and round the same bit.
For some reason the police know when I am about to go to bed and dispatch this annoying machine at that exact time to fly around my street.
In Northern Ireland you'd have the constant drone of a helicopter in a high up stationary position and an army spotter plane doing circles but here its low level flashy stuff.

28 comments:

Kimberly said...
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Kimberly said...

Uhhh...........Knudsen, What part of L.A./ Calif. are you in? Compton???........

Just remember: You know It's hard out there for a Pimp......

Old Knudsen said...

A small city you wouldn't waste yer time visiting and if you drive through it keep yer doors locked, but you can get yer kicks on route 66.

The Mistress said...

You and Ozzy Osbourne could team up and find a way to make bedwetting lucrative. Perhaps a reality show?

He admitted he used to wet the bed every night after his drinking binges.

"I was wetting the bed every night and then I'd get angry and pissed off. I just got fed up with it."

Old Knudsen said...

MJ I invented the original water bed or was it a swimming pool?

The Over-Thinker said...

I just love Saturday posts---especially ones that include the phrase "wet fleshy box"--and bed-wetting tips. Thanks, Knudsey.

Jenny said...

just wanted to confirm that I don't read Saturday posts unless there are better pictures.

Bunny said...

The police and their damned helicopters! When I lived in Day-twa (Detroit, to heathens who don't know how to pronounce it), the police always seemed to know when I was walking around my 16th floor apartment in a steel and glass high-rise and chose that time to monitor the traffic on the nearby freeway. Of course, my being naked pretty much all the time might have been a factor.

Bunny said...

Okay - that's supposed to say "walking around naked in my 16th floor apartment . . . " whatever

Kimberly said...

I was thinking of you today knudsen.....& I thought I'd drop in and say hello again..I hope you're enjoying your weekend in whatever part of the world (or your world) that your really in....XXXXXX

The Mistress said...

Knudsen's in California, all right.

I saw him running through Watts on "Cops" on Friday night.

Kimberly said...

mj = .....L...your killin me with your comments!...so witty...
----------------

I love the T-shirt Knudsen!...reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw once...Don't you just luv bumper stickers? I mean, they really cut thru the bullshit....they're like a short-cut to saying...

"Hey!,Lets never hang out....."

The Mistress said...

Credit where credit is due.

I learned everything I know at the feet of The Master....Old Knudsen... GOG ALMIGHTY, if you will.

Kneel at his altar with me and kiss the hem of his pee-stained garment.

Kimberly said...

Somethin' about that man indeed that keeps me comming back for more abuse..L......

"We're not worthy.....We're not worthy...."

as wayne and garth would say

The Mistress said...

That's enough chat.

He doesn't like it when you talk too much.

Just get down on your knees.

Jenny said...

Oh Look! Chat Room. He's gonna be mad.

actually, he talked all night with. And cried.

The Mistress said...

Speak English.

Talked all night with??? With? With who?

Jenny said...

crap, I know, I as too lazy to fix it.

Talked all night with ME.

Where's that Kimberely? do you think she's after the cap?

Gog said...

When thou doth take'th the Lard's name in vain the terrorists doth win'th.

Kimberly said...

..LOL....

Well there it is...you busted me. It is the cap.

But with his growing perverted fame, people are so eager for that coveted cap that I'll bet I could go grab one at a vintage hat shop and run a hustle on ebay claiming it to be knudsens' then let the bidding begin!!!!

...L.....

Kimberly said...

and MJ!!....

Anyway, How in the hell did you get all that from anything Ozzy would have to say??

All I heard was:

"arfl mebmuf me bed ah ah ahn pissin farbl weysonarf in me bed........ayaknow wha thufuk ah maheeyn?"
-------------------

No Ozzy....we don't know what the fuck you mean but we love you anyway...........L.....

Old Knudsen said...

over thinker I do know what weemen want.

bunny I'd like to hear more about that, maybe with some pictures.

kimberly I pedal the cycle of abuse, you can ride on my handlebars, my cap has a musky piss smell to it, very hard to recreate or fake.

a boxer I cried cos you wouldn't stop hitting me.

Old Knudsen has left the room.

MJ christ on a stick woman its stalker city today.

Gog yes they are a pack of Satan loving cunts don't worry Lard I shall convert them with my sword.

kimberly Yanks used busted as broken or getting caught, I use busted as in busting her brown star over a wheelie bin, be careful you flirt.

Kimberly said...

Well,Knudsen..............

In that case I guess you can bust my.......Brown star?.....any time...L......

Old Knudsen said...

3.40pm good for you?

Kimberly said...

No............

I was thinkin' 3:37.....because I cant wait that long...

Everyone else has had you and now I'm jealous....=0)

Kimberly said...

But make sure the wheely bin isn't a wooden one ....I don't want my precious heart shaped ass to be bruised and scratched by the splentors......L....

The Mistress said...

Like the song says, love is a many splintered thing.

Kimberly said...
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