Wednesday 14 May 2008

Old Bitter Ball's First Guest Blogger


Hello everybody I'm Dr Fregoli. I'm Mr Shufflebottom's psychiatrist or as you may know him 'Old Knudson.' I am breaking my hypocritical oath by giving you doctor patient information but I feel its important to his recovery that you all know the truth.

To give you all a little idea of my vast academic achievements and experience I have a B.A. in B.O. a M.D. in B.M. and drive an Audi Quattro TT.
I have graduated with honors from the Electoral college and also Hamburger University........ in Hamburg and last year I had a piece titled 'My perfect Sunday' published in Psychiatry monthly.

I have been Mr Shufflebottom's doctor for 10 years now and have only seen slight improvement. He no longer believes that if he doesn't punch every Catholic he meets something bad will happen and other OCD traits have lessened like blogging everyday. The Tourettes is still their with his favorite word being 'c**t' so vulgar.

Mr Shufflebottom does have delusions of grandeur which I have been trying to reason out with him. He is not an immortal one legged womanizing Scots/Irish man who is a Timelord and former spy , in fact he is a small fat balding middle aged man who lives with his parents in Orange County and has never had a girlfriend.

Since changing his medication I have brought him out of his dream like existence with a fantasy world in his head of living in a Scottish town of Killamory.
He now accepts that he is living in America, this is a major breakthrough and with some brain surgery on his frontal lobe known as a 'Lobotomy' he may go on to live a normal life similar to your average Texan or Floridian.

My patients exact age has been a mystery to me as his birth records were destroyed in a fire so the same people who carbon dated the shroud of Turin have also dated Mr Shufflebottom, they came to the conclusion that he was about 800 years old but what do they know ? its not like its sciency or something.

Ok peeps lets cut the shit Shufflebottom is a shape changing demon and needs to be destroyed by the 7 daggers of Xu - Cathiel or a very large gun with a lot of bullets.
I cannot do this myself as I am too pretty for jail, please I implore you to kill him NOW, or next week whenever is good for you and stop sending him naked pictures hes not really a reality show talent scout.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anyone who went to Hamburger University gets my undivided attention.

The Mistress said...

Both of you need to see new toupee suppliers.

Jenny said...

I'd like him better if he was wearing a cap.

Old Knudsen said...

psychicgeek I have no idea who this fella is, I hate those fancy college types.

MJ Are you still shaving yer pubes for 'real hair' toupees with extra pee?

a boxer socks and cap on, I heard thats what you like.

Unknown said...

Just remember to wear a rubber.

The Mistress said...

Is that Louceel fella taking your mug shot?

Are those pics going to turn up on one of those porno blogs?

Bunny said...

a small fat balding middle aged man who lives with his parents in Orange County and has never had a girlfriend.

Trey! I should've known it was you!! Turn off that computer right now and come upstairs. We're having meatloaf - your favorite!

The Mistress said...

Knowing that you may be a small fat balding middle aged man only makes you all the more desirable.

Old Knudsen said...

lceel A rubber what?

MJ do you ever thing of anything else but me naked?

bunnie Meatloaf? not really into music.

mj Madam you have mistaken me for Manuel for I am a golden god.

The Mistress said...

Would yer Ma let me and Boxer spend the night?

Meatloaf is fine with us. We're not fussy.

Jenny said...

vegetarian meat loaf? OK, OK, I won't be fussy.

Tell your Mother we're not much trouble.

Well.......

The Mistress said...

You see?

Boxer's not fussy at all.

She likes a big piece of meat.

savannah said...

what about me, mj & boxer? yeah, i was good enuff when y'all needed a third hand to bump the old geezer off and grab the hat, but noooooo, now, y'all have just kicked me to the curb when it's time for hanky panky and free food! i am crushed!
xoxox

The Mistress said...

Savannah: Of course you're invited along!

I was just driving down the west coast though so Boxer is on my route.

If you pay for the gas, I'll make a detour to Georgia.

Jenny said...

I'm totally up for a small detour to pick up Savannah. No offense meant, Sistah, I just figured you'd fly and meet us.

Gee, hope Ma has enough food.

Anonymous said...

I think you're a downright bonnie fella, and I won't be killin' ya off anytime soon(even if you do get a bit crusty in the pants). :)

-P

Old Knudsen said...

MJ I have bunk beds and I'm on top.

a boxer no veggies in my hoose except chips.

savannah don't trust them, a fickle lot.

ms Blue I swear I didn't give that to you.