Sunday 27 April 2008

Sunday Soapy Tit Wank

I don't like being lied to by the media so that's why I don't believe anything I hear. I mean oil went up in price because a US cargo ship with a security onboard fired some warning shots at some boats that were getting too close in the Persian Gulf.
.
Why did the price go up? nothing happened was it to make up for the cost of the bullets? sounds just like an excuse to me 'Media Manipulation' that's what goes on. A hint a rumour and the next thing you know 1929 wall street crash.

Now instead of having straight posture and a square chin actors can have all this fixed in post production. Cuntpop singer Faith Hill looks like a normal but still attractive middle aged woman on the left with facial lines, a slight roll of fat and thicker arms.
Then on the right she is 30 with Liz Taylor lighting and adjusted bits.
.
Burt Lancaster wasn't photoshopped, he just whipped it out in all his intact unmutilated by ignorant parent or rabbi glory.

What a shock to see yer hero on the street and to find out they are actually just a boring human with bad breath and a slow leak from their arse. I like the picture on the left better it has life to it.


Poor Renee Zellweger she has some kind of skin problem, you'd think having millions you could get that fixed, no offense Renee but don't go out without make-up on and stop working out so much.
This time its ok to lie because its for the greater good of my wank bank I thought she looked her best in Jerry McGuire, a great film and one of the few I can stand to watch after Tom's crazy episode on the sofa and ever since.


A before and after of Mel Gibson, you think he just wakes up looking as hot as he does on the right? no work goes into it. For his antisemitic information the Jews don't start all the wars. The uppity negros started the American civil war.


Do you believe those before and after pictures when the person walks towards the camera fat and ends up thin? I believe it as much as I believe the special effects in American Werewolf in London, yet another great film.

I took Bulimiax after throwing up every meal and look at me now!

Then there are those adverts that have the old way of doing things in black and white with the people getting angry and frustrated or hurting themselves and the new easy way in colour with the people smiling.

Tired of doing tiring exhausting exercise? well now you can use the new 'nipple zap' just attached the electrodes to yer nipples and electric shocks tense yer body exercising those muscles while you watch TV, read the newspaper or lie in bed, no more exertion just relaxing electrocution.
.
If you believe the media then Saddam had WMD, Al Qaeda are a small shite sect who are losing the war, you can look younger, thinner and have a bigger penis by just taking pills, the world is heating up and we are doomed even though 30 years ago it was about to go into an ice-age and we were doomed.
.
Just be a fatalist why bother composting and recycling? the 50 cunts across the road don't we are going to implode no matter what because everyone is lying and that is the truth.

As my old grand pappy used to say: "curry flavours the bald" makes you think huh?



9 comments:

Kimberly said...

LOLOLOLOLOL...........LMFAO.......
HaHhaHahahahahhahaaaa!!......

The Mistress said...

I just got out of bed.

Could you send someone over to Photoshop me?

The Mistress said...

Did you swallow a Fenian?

Momentary Madness said...

Informative. I never knew Groucho Marks lived in Burt Lancaster's underpants.

Kimberly said...

That was just ....nasty!!...someone could have photoshopped a circumcision onto him at least!!
-------------------------
Knudsen: One day, you are going to have to let all of these girls that are in your basement, go....

Jenny said...

I'm sorry, did you say something? I was just looking at Robert Mitchum. Oh, I loved him in Elmer Gantry.

Jenny said...

Oh Jeez, I just got out of a car, I meant Burt Lancaster.

Actually, I don't really care what his name is....... and I guess I proved it! Ha.

Old Knudsen said...

kimberly use yer words lass.

MJ serious photoshopping.

MJ I spat at one.

MM show some respect for the dead.

kimberly intact as God intended, you have issues and the weemen are in the garage.

a boxer I thought John Wayne was in that.

MJ too many punches to the head.

a boxer why don't you go dig him up, I bet hes stiff.

Kimberly said...

My apologies for using the F word, Sir. I will be more mindful of my language in the future.......XX