Monday 25 February 2008

LOL Kittens More Like SOS Kittens

I just got this new microwavey and I'm just working out how to use it. Billy one ear tells me you need a box in order to get any channels which I think is a fucking rip off, that's how they make their money like extended warrantees. Go buy a computer but refuse to buy the extended warrantee and watch the salesman's face drop.
I did that once and what do you know that Olivetti piece of shit lasted the warrantee then my cat decided to piss on the thing. Fucking cats I suspect they are agents of the lemurs sent to infiltrate and harass us.

Which day is the first day of the week? some say Sunday but I say Monday. If its based on when God had his day off which was the 7th day called the Sabbath which was originally Saturday as Christianity allegedly cums from Judaism. Now with Protestant wisdom Sunday is seen as the day of rest and Saturday is drinking day and fight night.
So if Sunday is the day of rest it follows that its the 7th day right? So Monday is the first day of the week.

I remember when Sundays were ghost towns, the only thing that was open was the newsagents so you'd get yer paper and a carton of milk. No fast food places and no 24 hour anything.
The pubs would only be open for a couple of hours. I hated Sundays as there was nothing to do and boring songs of praise shite was on the telly and considering we only had 3 TV channels until the early 80's that was quite bad.

You can watch car racing on one channel, cars going round and round whats the point? some program for deaf people on another with dopey cunts doing sign language and making silly faces or you could watch a farming show on the third.

The worse part about a Sunday then was if you had forgotten to buy drink you were fucked.
I never slept well on Sunday night because I was pissed off at how fast the weekend went and now it was nearly time for work. Yer head would be turning over and you'd sleep without knowing you did.
Every couple of hours I'd grab my alarm clock and try to make out what time it was in the dark, then I'd count how many hours I had until I had to get up.
If I had to get up at 6am I'd wake at 5.30am still tired I'd look at the clock and then fall deeply asleep then my alarm would go off.

I like to be woken up gently, when that sort of stuff happens yer whole body is in shock and you don't even get a stiffy. The whole day it out of sorts.

I salute weemen because in the mornings my gag reflex is at ultra sensitive. I've been known to walk doon a street, choke and puke in the early mornings, how weemen take my 12 inches of man meat without choking is beyond me. One of the many reasons I didn't advance far in military ranks.

Aren't sperm so cute looking? how can some weemen spit them out? heartless bitches.

Breakfast is tough when its early I reckon I'm no a morning person, just say hello to me and find out. I once killed a man for saying a cheery "good morning" as I stomped him to death I shouted "whats so go about it huh? huh?" it was during a job interview and I never got it even though I wore a fucking tie.

I had this thing about eggs. I love eggs and I love chicken in fact I lived with a hen as my common law wife once, the divorce was messy but tasty.
I want to ride a hot midget before I die, that was on my list of ambitions to do in life just after making a species of animals extinct, fucking Dodos that'll teach them.

For a long time In the mornings I couldn't eat eggs because I'd imagine them cumming out of the chicken's bum as I ate and so I would gag. I don't need an anatomy lesson as to where eggs cum out its their bum and that's that.

I've over that now, well I cringe when shell gets into my fried egg when I break it. Which is funny as I have ate things that fell on the floor no probs if only my psychiatrist didn't have that restraining order against me, ah well that's what a blog is for.

So back to the top, I'm placing bets that not only can I get this microwavey to work but I can also get those feline cunts to spill the beans about the lemur plans for conquest. Why does Billy keep saying "Clean up on aisle 5" and laughing ?

Warning post may contain graphic midget images.

11 comments:

The Mistress said...

That midget sex pic...

Now we know what Eddie Waring's been getting up to in his hotel room.

Jenny said...

so not work safe today.

but chatty Old K is better than cranky, so I'll take it all.

Bittersweet said...

save the kitties!!

Old Knudsen said...

MJ he has been there a while.

a boxer My disclaimer at the top covers all and I'm NEVER cranky.

bittersweat you I wish I took yer advice. What a mess.

ellie said...

You just want a hot midget to to hold your cock so that it looks enormous in her hand!

Old Knudsen said...

Ah you got me, do you think it would work?

Jenny said...

again, you think I read your blog.

I come for the pix. You know that.

Xmichra said...

Silly Old K... chicken eggs are nothing more then a period. Sluffing of the unpregnated eggies... or natural miscarages. So i wouldn't be worried about the shell, i would look for feathers ;P

FirstNations said...

bridget is her name, and being juuuuust tall enough is her claim to fame. so saith the Biker.

The Mistress said...

The Biker knoweth that of which he spake.

But who is her baby daddy?

Eddie Waring? Or Knudsen himself?

Dick Headley said...

Finally...Knudsen posts a pic of someone going up on someone.