Rum, Sodomy And The Lash

It was thought that Winston Churchill said that British naval tradition consisted of Rum, sodomy and the lash. I'd say that would be true of most navys. Spunk doesn't show up so much on yer liberty whites, those Yanks think of everything.

The Navy are all queer and that's in the bible, I do however like the commercials that make the armed forces look exciting. Fast paced action shots of people jumping out of boats or shouting commands. The film "Top Gun" was a very expensive ad for US navy pilots, short arse cunts can get the tall chicks and save us from the Migs while being "dangerous."

"My rock beats yer Scissors Ice-man, I didn't get my Rock Paper Scissors badge for nothing."

In the UK there were ads with office type yuppie people sitting in a bar and they ask one guy "how was yer week" the man gazes off to flash backs of exciting army life, then a hot woman enters the bar and all the yuppies stare as she goes over to the guy and then you see her in the flash backs dressed in army gear giving commands. I think what the ad was trying to say was, "yer life is boring come and let us tell you what to do and hot military chicks (we called them groundsheets) will want yer cock."

Then there was the ads that has soldiers in a situation like some raghead getting angry with you in some dirty camel fucker lingo so what do you do next? me I'd open fire and teach them to respect the Empire but no, the answer was for the officer to remove his sun glasses to make eye contact as a sign of respect, fuck away off. British army you stone age cunts bow doon.

For fucks sake, can you Palestinians no take a wee joke?

Yer a special forces soldier observing a target, you have rations for 8 days, its now day 13 what do you do? me I'd say, "fuck this for a game of soldiers and go home." Its to see if you are dumb enough to stay in position and starve to death or tramp around like Les Strouds looking for food and giving away yer position and not watch the target.

The Yanks have their "Army of one" slogan, me I'd prefer some backup. I don't think one person can be an army, look it up, " a large organized body of armed personnel trained for war." I'll admit I'm not into book learnin much, I hated school and resented being made to attend in fact I also hated (and still do) being told what to do so idiot me did join the army for numerous years until they tired of me but even I'm not going to fall for that army of one crap, I maybe dumb but I'm not Irish.

After a battle I'd go around the battlefield as the weemen knifed the enemy wounded, you'd get some good stuff off those bodies, thats when I became an arms dealer on the market of colour as we call it.

The reason I took the King's shilling was because of the ad of the day, the English army recruiters would come to yer town and make it all sound exciting and romantic, " Fight for the King and oppress the heathen wog just like God wants you too." Well I was hooked, I joined the 101st Kings own cannon fodder regiment, we wore red coats so the enemy could see us better, that was the polite thing to do.

I was the original inventor of "Duck and cover" and so I moved on to the "Royal suicide fusiliers." Ah happy days, I developed a lot of the field craft the army use today for sniping as I hid in the grass and crawled bravely to safety.

Senator John Kerry, George Washington look 'a' like, liberal anti-war traitor and presidential failure said it best and this should be a commercial "If you don't do well in school and you don't study, you end up in Iraq."

He should also add if yer dumb enough to think the army will put you through college we want to give you a weapon and train you to kill .

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