Wednesday 26 September 2007

Linker Beware

I was over in the Congo delivering some top secret medical samples for the US government who have several research bases there so I took me some time to go and hunt some gorillas as I'm sure those fuckers are in league with the Lemurs . I now have a whole crate of these stylish gorilla hand ashtrays to sell if anyone is interested. I managed to get out of the country just before the latest outbreak of Ebola which happened in the same area as the base I was at, I'm sure they'll be ok I hope the villagers in 'test 1' and 'test 2' village are ok, odd names for villages I thought.

I got an e-mail about how if I submit a 500 word article to this guy I can get 120 backlinks from 40 blogs to increase my Technorati authority for just $25.00. Then they said to check out his blog and see what over 60 other bloggers had said. It was all "this is so great I love it," so I left a comment saying whats the point? I'll just make up 500 blogs and link to myself for free, at the time of this writing my comment had still not been cleared on moderation, fucking slackers.

So sad sacks can appear popular by getting 120 links from various porn sites, I don't need to buy popularity, I'm unpopular and loving it. The last time someone asked me to submit articles for some lame idea involving luke warm bananas and gorillas I got stuck with Gollum the semi-retarded spammer.

A thing I learned from my time jungle fighting with Captain Smack (Elsewhere on the web on my sidebar) if it cums from the jungle squish it before it bites you.

Then I got another e-mail about a link exchange, heres what they said about my blog: very nice and interesting. It was a pleasure to browse your blog and to read about sexuality and other social issues.

Never mind that shit you forgot to mention how fucking funny I am, for fucks sake you know it has to be a Yank right? so anyway they want me to link so they can sell their Bullet egg vibrators, I might accept that one to just to bring a touch of class to my blog.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I go through stages of getting rid of counters and adding counters. Sometimes I'm curious, sometimes I could give a shit.

And hey, You are a funny mutha nudsie!

Fresh Hell said...

You're all class, sugar-britches! You don't need an egg vibrator to prove that.

The Mistress said...

If they give you a free bonus Bullet egg vibrator, could you send it to me?

savannah said...

post an audio clip..then you'll be even more famous

Captain Smack said...

500 words AND 25 dollars? For 40 lousy links?

I'd go with the vibrator people, but make them send you a free vibrator first.

Megan McGurk said...

People who pay for links are like the sad sacks that join frats and sororities. Buying friends.

Oh, and take all the lemurs you want but save the gorillas, please.

Old Knudsen said...

Ms Pool I have three counters and haven't looked at them in ages.

fresh hell that means a lot cuming from a woman with a slippery when wet tattoo, we should go out and tip some cows.

MJ I'll even clean it off before I send it.

captain smack I shall, you can never have too many vibrators.

medbh what use are gorillas? they don't even make good bloggers, they're evil I tell you.

Anonymous said...

You funny?

Jenny said...

I've recently decided the only way to make money on the Internet is to sell Porn.

Period.

INNER VOICES said...

"im unpopular and loving it...."

need you say more? WTF?

Old Knudsen said...

mago did someone not tell you?

a boxer send me some free samples, I may become a big customer.

inner voices I don't need to but I will.

savannah said...

well?