Thursday 20 September 2007

I Feel Like Chicken Tonight

I've always loved Chicken, its such a handy animal, ok get yer chicken choking comments out of the way ya sickos. Theres nothing like a tender white breast, oh I also like the dark meat don't get me wrong, breast, thighs I like them all, shoving the cavity with my special stuffing is a real treat. I also love eggs, sometimes with my chips and chicken I'll have a couple of boiled eggs and marvel at the two generations I'm eating at the same time, fucking great, if ya don't have a fried egg for breakfast everyday then yer worse than a pedo in my book, sometimes when I'm feeling a little ghey I'll have a soft boiled egg and dip slices of toast into it, this for you know nothings would be called 'egg and soldiers,' eggy smelling farts should be bottled and sold as perfume.

Ducks are a kind of chicken, I should know as I spent 5 fucking years aboard HMS Beagle with that boring cunt Chuck Darwin, in fact he came up with a lot of his theories just watching me eating.
I used to annoy Chuck something rotten with my keen skills of debate, in fact I was a master bater, he'd watch me do that too, he liked to watch.

Old Knudsen: So are profanities profound?
Darwin: No, it comes from the word profane.
Old Knudsen: So propane is profound then?
Darwin: Please leave me alone.

The man seemed to loose his temper a lot, no wonder he only lasted 5 years.



The greater speckled McCann Duck.


9 comments:

kimba said...

so many things I want to say..
but howsabout this one.. "please send me some sperm.. I want you to be a parent to my child"

I think it was the eggy soldiers that flipped me over the edge.. that is my favourite breakfast.. sigh..

Old Knudsen said...

I'll send you one of my old crusty socks.

Portia said...

at least the mccann ducks come prepared with sedatives and painkillers, like any good quack.

willowtree said...

You can't beat a hard boiled egg in the morning.

FirstNations said...

goddammit knudie now i want yardbird.
some blind faith would be nice too.

Fatman said...

There's a fast food Portugese chicken franchise that has been trying the "suggestive marketing" approach to selling poultry. You'll walk up to the counter to see 15-year old, pimply youths taking your order with shirts that say things like, "I make the chicks hot" or "How would you like some tender thighs?". It won't be too long before they will be forced to wear shirts with a slogan that will say, "You wanna suck my cock and have the juices drip down your throat?". Sex sells baby!

Old Knudsen said...

Ka-Chow!

Unknown said...

I eat more chicken than anything else, although I don't care for duck, it's just too greasy. But I do love a soft cooked egg, especially in some grits with butter and garlic salt. Now, them's good eatin'!
I think bottled egg farts would be considered dangerous. Try getting that on an airplane and you'll see.

Megan McGurk said...

I'm a wimp.
The picture of the lost ducklings makes me want to cry.
Sniff.