Friday 27 July 2007

Shambo Died For Somebody's Sins But Not Mine

What kind of mong worships and doesn't eat cows? have you ever tried to milk a bull? they put up a hell of a fight and don't even produce half a cup.

In Wales which is a God forsaken part of the UK where men are men and sheep are fucked in the arse like it was going out of style theres this wee hippy commune, well I've seen the dopey buggers on the news chanting and banging drums with beads around their necks.
I'm Not one to disrespect the culture or religion of someone else but is Hinduism a real religion? it looks rather odd to me, where is the dull monotone droning of the congregation as they plod through " Abide with me" that can be made to sound just like 30 other hymns if played and sung dispassionately enough?

Well this sect or whatever you want to call it have this sacred bull named Shambo which is a bit close to sambo a name we used to call the Johnny black fellas that carried our supplies in Africa, not very PC for todays tastes I'd think. Anyway this neo-nazi cult of peace loving swastika wearing Hindu types with their big black sambo the bull that they worship, have decided to disobey the Queen's laws and make a scene which is just not on.

Like in the porn industry (when I worked in it) you had to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases before you were allowed to work. Well everytime before they deflower a virgin or the priest swallows the sacred jizz ,Shambo has to be tested and it was found that he had gonorrhea as passed to him by his followers. More importantly it was found he had TB.

Don't go blaming badgers for that he was probably given it by an infected drum basher just off a TB ridden flight from India or America.

The Hindu monks refused to give up the bull and when peaceful means didn't work a lot of kung fu kicks and leaps kept the Welsh police at bay, those poor peelers they just wanted to go home and shag their lawfully wedded sheep.

Shambo was taken when the police in excessive numbers swarmed the temple and took him off to be slaughtered much in the way the Jews had the Romans do to Jesus.
Yes Shambo is the new Jesus though leaner and more tastier than ever, 100% prime Shambo.

Don't worry folks he'll rise again when hes made into dog food and cattle feed by accident .

11 comments:

Manuel said...

Ws going to do a Shambo post but cant be mithered now. You seem to have captured the essence of the story better than I could have....

Eddie Waring said...

Speaking of Hindu's, I saw a couple of Buddhists in Home Depot this morning. Dressed in their orange robes they almost looked like they worked there but they obviously didn't as I asked them where the ball cocks were and they just looked confused.

Old Knudsen said...

Manuel wasn't Sarah Jessica Parker yer cow story?

Mr Waring I'd say the staff would be just as clueless but then again I'm not supposed to know what a Home Depot is or why they dress in orange, some kind of prison thing?

Anonymous said...

Poor Shambo. I suppose a voiceless victim makes a good one to perverts.

FirstNations said...

see, even with all the makeup and the necklace i could tell right off that was Camilla Bowles. gonorrhea? whoda thunk it.

Anonymous said...

I never trust those of European descent that try to adopt Hinduism as "their" religion. Everyone things they reformat it and make it their own. I guess it's the fate of all religions at any rate. I mean, exactly how many versions of Catholicism are bounding about these days?

sheesh
-P

Old Knudsen said...

Mrs Cecrux is fu$#ed a real word? they have Pooja ceremonies whatever that is.

Ms Pool a voiceless victim does make a good steak.

first nation Camilla wished she looked that good.

Ms Blue Lucky for me Jesus was Scottish and moved to the middle east.

Xmichra said...

hey now, me and Shambo were like this *crosses fingers*. That big bad bessy had no m-i-l-k, but was revered by all the other cows.. accessorized and everything...
now what creature will we paint?? HUH???



..hehe

Fusion said...

You lost me at Sambo, that was the name of a US resturant chain back in the day, actually it was called Sambo's, and I'd go there for breakfast. They had these drawings of an Indian boy and his pet tiger or some such shit on the menu's. It was all quite confusing...

Captain Smack said...

Patty Smith! That's the reference, it's been driving me nuts.

Old Knudsen said...

10,000 points to captain smack.