Saturday 21 July 2007

Polyp Fiction


The fate of America was safely in the hands of Dick Cheney as doctors removed five small growths from President Bush's colon, the surgery took 31 minutes during which time Bush was asleep but responsive so no change there to his normal state.
Doctor Nick the head surgeon during the operation said, "we didn't find any WMDs heh heh but we did find plenty of ass juice, fucking gross."

In 1985 Reagan was another arsehole with problems when he had colon cancer surgery, he handed the reigns to daddy Bush at the time for 2 hours who took the opportunity to fuck with the old dementia suffering monkey lovers mind by moving the stuff on his desk around, fucking ex CIA and their mind games .


George W and Laura prepare to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when George farts and says, "Seven Points."


Laura rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"


George replied, "It's fart *football*."


A few minutes later Laura lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."


After about five minutes George lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7 bring it on."


Not to be outdone, Laura rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."


Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."


Now the pressure is on George . He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally he shits in the bed.


Laura says, "What the hell was that?"


George says, "Half time, switch sides."



*not real football (soccer) American football to name it correctly, only Yanks would call it "foot"ball and use their hands most of the time.*


12 comments:

Foot Eater said...

Good joke. You're far too hard on the Gipper, though.

I hear they removed a polyp from Bush's colon about ten years ago but they threw away the wrong part.

Old Knudsen said...

I strongly disliked the Gipper. I liked Carter and its good to see how old and bitter hes become.

Manuel said...

It's been a very strange day.....

Old Knudsen said...

are there any other kind?

savannah said...

i had a great evening..a party..drinks, music and conversation... :) oh yeah...i'm happy now, sugar!

Old Knudsen said...

I'm glad to hear that,now is the time for the naked pics.

UBERMOUTH said...

LMAO....never stop writing yo!

savannah said...

well? did you get them, sugar? ;)

Old Knudsen said...

Oh yeah.

Fusion said...

dubbya makes it too easy...

American politiks are for shit anymore, I say abolish the political parties... then the candidates won't know what the fuck to say... might have to think for themselves, if that's possible.

Old Knudsen said...

fusion GW is cool, the amount of posts that man has given me.

eyebee they call it Aussie rules football but use their elbows and not their feet.

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

Then George pulls the sheets over Barbs head and gives her a true Dutch oven