Friday 8 June 2007

Observations From The World's Greatest Blogger.


Young Todd from Arizona has a future ahead of him, he just needs a cap to hide that ginger hair.


The Best Bloggers have a responsibility that they take seriously, toilet breaks, love, yer kid's school plays should all cum second place.

In my vast experience of Blogging I have cum to realise what makes good and bad Bloggers.
Barring laziness too busy to post and being as dull as a thaw. You know who you are.

The best bloggers are usually:
Miserable, lonely, unsatisfied in life and very often sexually frustrated, they produce the best angst driven posts full of anger and insight that connects with other sad sacks on some level.

The worse bloggers are usually:
Those who have just fallen in love and neglect their blogs and readers for love :::spits::: and those who have been prescribed anti-depressants that work, their imagination and creativity just goes and a world of boring fluffy unicorns is all they have.

Being an optimist is fine but keep that shite out of the blogs you bastards.

Last Wednesday I fell in love. It was with the gurl that gave me senior discount for my tea and scone at the tea hoose. I knew for the sake of my Blog I'd have to break her heart as I have eventually done with the thousands of weemen I've had in my life, sorry mother.

When I finished supping my tea I just got up and walked away, never looking back. Did I leave her a tip? yes, I looked into her vacant glassy brown eyes and said, " never fall in love with a Blogger Doll face ." I think her broken hearted reaction was something like huh? that tea hoose is now dead to me unless she gets fired.

16 comments:

Megan McGurk said...

How very noir-ish. You sound like Bogart doing Marlowe.

The Mistress said...

This tea hoose gurl...

Was she a ginger?

Anonymous said...

It's against the law for Gingers to live in Arizona -- skin cancer, sunburn, terminal freckles.

savannah said...

wow, EVERYTHING happened on wednesday, sugar *smirking*

Old Knudsen said...

dive excellent blogging skills.

medbh You sound like Bogart doing Marlowe

Thats one 3-way I want no part of.

MJ a big sweaty dark haired yoke, I wouldn't eat in a place with gingers.

AZ we sent all our gingers/convicts to Australia and the US glad to see you're persecuting them there too.

savannah that was between us stop bragging.

Rob7534 said...

I rather like the red-heads!

Fire-crotch and all.

I won't say which group I belong to, because that would only cause me to pop yet ANOTHER pill, you heathen, your posts hit too close to home!

Losing the love of your life because it interferes with your creative blogging is heartbreaking enough, but never being able to return to a decent tea house! Now that's more than any man should bare.

By the way, I am oddly resolved to end up in your list of wankers by summer's end. I must devise a plan.

Old Knudsen said...

I've missed ya lad, getting into the wankers gallery is easy, I always mean to add Dive but I keep forgetting, his anti Queen comments are terrible, no not gheys the actual Queen Queen, go on say something American and clueless that should do it. Maybe I can somehow get the gurl from the tea hoose fired, I must devise a plan too.

Sassy Sundry said...

Oh, don't give up good tea, Knudsen.

Besides, falling in love is fun.

Sassy Sundry said...

Oh, don't give up good tea, Knudsen.

Besides, falling in love is fun.

Sassy Sundry said...

Sorry about the duplicate post.

And Dive's fallen in love, too. Notice how he's neglected his blog sometimes?

Anonymous said...

I am none of these thing yet I am still a brilliant blogger!! You can vote for me at Blogpower via the link on my blog!! I need the vote as Iambeing crushed by the voices of reaction!!

Foot Eater said...

Being an optimist is fine but keep that shite out of the blogs you bastards.

Yes, you're right there. The only post on my blog to provoke no comments at all was one in which I suggested that everybody stop whingeing so much.

I'd post and comment more often but my keyboard is all gummed up with some unidentifiable whitish substance.

Annie said...

lollerskates

The Little Cheese said...

Sexual frustration is not something that causes me to write. But I have had a lot of practice...

Captain Smack said...

I'm going to sit down now and write a sad, sappy, 70's style love song called "Don't Fall in Love with a Blogger".

Old Knudsen said...

sassy love is for the weak, yes Dive has been a slack cunt with his memes and photos, lets hope she/he dumps him soon.

mutleythedog just to shut you up I voted for you, I shall send you my bill.

Mr Eater I don't chuck custard for less than 10 comments.

annie rhiannon I have no idea what you are on about, blogging and drinking doesn't mix.

little cheese practice makes perfect, I'm always willing to help with this sort of thing.

captain smack I just voted for you as well on that thing Mutley is going on about, when yer record cums out I'll buy it and put you at the top of the hit parade.