Monday 7 May 2007

Get yer dirty Ape Paws Off Me Knob.

He wants a buck at yer weemen.


Those silly Austrians are at it again. They want Hiasl a 26 year old male chimpanzee legally declared a person.
He likes pastry, painting, watching TV though doesn't like coffee, can't blame him there, all very human qualities.

They want this as the sanctuary the creature lives in went bust and they want a guardian for him that can accept donations to keep the wee fucker in croissants and cream buns, his Jackson Pollock art and his reruns of Baywatch.

Fuck off, the hairy bastard lives better than me, £13,400 a month for vet bills too.

Then again I have often wondered about my fellow Bloggers and are they really human or not. I'm not talking about Gorilla Bananas or Primal Sneeze here I'm talking about yer Warings , Paddys and quite obviously Noilk, the ones who try to hide it but you can just tell, especially after Waring had his freshly shaved Primate arse posted on Mj's Blog, please do not go and look I didn't put a link in this post as I'm not an enabler, oh check out Tony's bum too, hes Slavic not monkey, there is a slight difference.


Those silly Austrians, 70 years ago they wouldn't accept a black person as a human and now they want to make an Ape a human, you lose 2 world wars and you become totally ghey, c'mon do a bit of Goose stepping for old times sake, hey what about those Jews? killed Jesus you know, ach they're useless.
*I swear this is the last post I'll do about Krauts and the war *as I seem to be mentioning them all quite a bit, the flashbacks never stop just say no to drugs.


Hiasl is a 26 year old loafer , kick the feces throwing fucker out and tell him to get a job if hes so human, maybe something in IT or law enforcement .
*Of course I am totally lying*







17 comments:

Kav said...

Those bloggers you're on about, I've no doubt most of them are but apes, fit for nothing but to be caged for our amusement. Let's round 'em up, knudsen. I'll bring my elephant gun.

Anonymous said...

8th of May 1945, official ending of the fighting in the european theatre; the japs carried on until the hammer fell twice.

I think it's just a consequence: Hiasl for president! In Austria the border between man and animal traditional is blurred; an effect of the lonely alp-regions where "men are men and sheep are nervous". They have an interesting gene-pool there ...

Momentary Madness said...

Jackon Bollock's art could not possibly be recreated by a tailless primate; not even if he was Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor.
Knudsen, that's not very nice, calling us bloggers ape's.
By-the-way, now that you mention it, the Germans have got their hands on the bust of Queen Nefertiti.
The head of the Supreme Council of "Antiquities" (that's what they call them in Egypt) Zahi Hawass, recently said the Egyptian Foreign Ministry would send letters to Germany requesting them to stop handling their treasure and send her bust back to them.
The German government has refused saying: Nefertiti, once Queen of Egypt is 'German property', Egyptian's hands off!
Y:-) Paddy

Fat Sparrow said...

Oh, what the hell, I'm sure he's more human than my ex.

Anonymous said...

I bear no bias. I firmly believe people are apes too and should be treated as such.

Anonymous said...

He's cuter than my ex. another reason not to take X and date.

The Mistress said...

I couldn't help but notice that you neglected to mention that your bare arse was also featured in my gallery. But then everybody's seen your bits by now.

That Slavic arse just begs to be bitten into, doesn't it? It's like a warm, fuzzy peach.

As for Waring's hairy arse, I learned the hard way not to kiss it after eating a sticky candy apple. I advise you to proceed with caution should you decide to do the same.

You should all be soundly spanked for sending me those pics. Shame on you.

savannah said...

bless your heart for sharing

FirstNations said...

hell, give him the vote. he's definitely more human than my ex.
probably has a bigger dick, too.


in fact, make that 'likely'. the ex shopped for his clothes in the boys department.

the lesson here, ladies: never marry a man prettier than yourself.

tony said...

Aint No Bananas in Poland.That's why you see so many Poles in Tesco. We are now an apeeling nation

Old Knudsen said...

primal sneeze treat me like an ape, I want good medical care.

ms pool sometimes thats what you need to get through some dates....or so my dates have told me.

Anonymous said...

By the way: We bought Nofrete. We digged her up, had a chat with the camelteaser in charge and bought the piece. What's wrong about THAT?

In fact it is one of the few pieces of art that came into a museum in a legally way. A lot of other things to be admired in collections over Europe have no clear history and followed pretty shady ways until ending in a museum.
She is beautiful. But would not survive a trip to the Middle East. So let her stand where she is: The installations on the Berlin Museuminsel were just put in the actual state of the art, it's probably the best environment for her man can create.

But as you all know: These fucking Germans just robbed anything they could lay their hands on. Anything I say. Made a religion out of it ... Or was it the poles?

M@ said...

I've always thought they should consider some of these creatures on par with our mentally-challenged humans but I do agree that he might be of use issuing parking tickets on city streets or fixing coffees at the local coffeeshop.

Old Knudsen said...

mago you make a good arguement for keeping her what will the sandsavages do anyway blow it up or something?
The Poles are such teases, no wonder the Germans and Russians wanted in. I want into Tony, but in a prison way not a ghey way.

matt which leads me to the point, are mongs and teenagers actually human?

The Mistress said...

You've got pics of Kav? Send me some Fenian arse!

The Mistress said...

Let's lock up Tony and pretend we're prison wardens. Oh the fun we'll have.

Eddie Waring said...

My bottom is my own and I shall do with it as I see fit. I am quite proud of it and merely wanted to share it while it was temporarily rash free.