Sunday 25 March 2007

Multiple Choice.

The only thing I see wrong with this gurl is that sometimes too much choice can be a little over whelming but I can look past her inperfections and 3 erect nipples and love her for the person she is inside because I'm a deep and sensitive person.

I like my weemen the way I like my food, genetically modified. I prefer the taste of artificial Strawberries, Bananas and Pineapple. I refuse to be bossed around by fresh fruit that doesn't even taste as good due to lack of additives. Old Knudsen hates to be told what to do so when the fruit goes "you can't eat me until I'm ripe " or " you had better eat me before I good off" I say "fuck off!"
What the fuck is this vitamin C shite? in whos interest does vitamin C work ? the produce farmers that's who, the same people that we turn our clocks forward and back for, those cunts.
The only concession I make for fruit is a slice of pineapple or tomato on me burgers, that's healthy eating for me.

I don't want to hear anything about me being a semen and should know all about scurvy, fish are at sea all the time, no fruit for them and they are (except for the tasty mercury) one of the most healthy things to eat, go ask the Nips, they have the world's oldest man and woman because of all of the dulse and fish suppers they consume .

The battle against men eating fruit has been going on for 5 thousand years ever since Eve yapped at Adam for not eating healthily enough, if God wanted us to eat fruit he would of said, "see those Apples? knock yerselves out" .
Since apples need cold weather in order to grow its been suggested that the garden of Eden was originally here at Kilamory in Scotland , is it only a coincidence that over in Ulster which is just separated by 13 miles of sea is a place still called Eden which is where the parents of Yank President and all round cunt Andrew Jackson lived? theres a little tourist centre there now, ah to have been around when Scotland and Ulster were joined and man and Dinosaur all lived in peace according to the word of God until Eve saw her arse and decided to go on a health kick involving apples, no I'm not blaming my female readers for all the sin in the world, but the Bible is so watch it, is it any wonder that I have been forced to rewrite the Bible ignoring all the made up shite they put in there?
Here endth the lesson.

Kav of the ever changing avatar has the three boob issue sussed, that lad is so smart sometimes I forget hes Irish .

I have toyed with the idea of changing my avatar to something like this as hot chicks always seem to get their profiles checked out the most, I don't see why an old man in a cap wouldn't get as much interest.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

oy darlin, thanks for the fond farewell. I'll be lurkin around your patch from time to time, of course. keep putting up the nudie girlie pictures to make it a more likely event.

Old Knudsen said...

Just for you I'll do that.

Eddie Waring said...

I always eat extra pineapples as it makes my muck pineapple flavoured. So sez Mrs. W anyway.

Other than that, I get my daily quota of fruit from wine.

Old Knudsen said...

Good thinking lad, thats what keeps the french alive damn their surrendering ways.

nwtrunner said...

I dunno - 3 is a nice round number for many things. Maybe for tits too - the picture makes it seem pretty enticing.

As for the French - good wine but fuck all good in a fight. And the Italians make good wine too. Come to think of it - they're no fucking good in a fight either.

Bring on the Australians.....

Old Knudsen said...

St Patrick described the trinity with 3 tits, don't forget the Germans with the good wine, in a fight they do tend to get a little carried away and lose but Aussies, I love those crazy bastards.

Spilling Ink said...

Hey, I know that lady with three boobs! She's related to that guy you had in here a while back. The one with four knobs! Knudsen, did you steal their family photo album?

tony said...

Dont the Scots Deepfry Fruit same as Mars Bars or whatever?.come to think of it,the last time i went clubbin in Glasgow i got battered..........

Old Knudsen said...

Lynn thats what happens when you drink tap water.

tony Are potatoes fruit?

the hangar Queen I take it you mean the top one, if so any chance of a Motor boat? I'll shave for it. flubalubalubalub.

tony said...

when the chips are down, everything is fruit........(scratches head)

The Hangar Queen said...

Shave what? Yer back?