Tuesday 27 March 2007

Iran And Iraq Are Different Places Right?

You may see a group of old men wearing funny hats and one of them sneakily picking his nose but I see highly trained Celtic warriors, when yer biggest fear is a few steps and slipping in the bath facing an army of Sand savages is nothing.


If you've been paying attention to the news you'd know about the 14 sailors and marines being held by those Iranian cunty baws. Tony Blair has hinted about getting tough if diplomacy doesn't work and that's all I needed to hear. I went doon to the British legion and scrounged up my old ex commando buddies to go over and rescue the lads.
We are all a part of the legion's unofficial fight club so we do practice our skills every week.
I had to look through my stuff for my Fairbairn-Sykes #2 fighting knife, my 16 inch Smatchet and my # 4 rifle and my factor 15 sun block , is that a high enough sun factor ? I've had it for 10 years so far so it should be ok right? The only problem so far is that Razor McGee doesn't have a passport and mine is being held by the police after the whole stalking of the Pope mix up, did you know that the pope has monogrammed underwear? I really doubt his holy unmentionables get washed along with anyone else's so why does he need them monogrammed? The man is on an ego trip thinking that God talks through him, maybe on my way back from Iran I'll swing by Rome and take him doon a peg or two of course if we don't get the passports sorted it could be difficult.
You never see James Bond have this trouble, oh no the boat he uses for special ops doesn't double to take tourists around the coast and so isn't available until the end of the season, his boat is a invisible to radar has its own bar and wide screen TV.
Don't worry lads we'll get ya out, Conway isn't coming due to a bad back, Ivor said he was raring to go and even though he died on Sunday I'm holding the cunt to it.
I know what I'm doing I've killed and oppressed more 3rd world people than you've had hot dinners and that's including the Irish, while I'm over there freeing yous I may just stab that wanker Qaddafi so he doesn't do this ever again.

Old Knudsen, a man of peace in a time of war.



"I can't believe they wanted you to apologise for slavery, thats sooooo funny Tony" "Well I thought so, tell me have you had Old Knudsen killed yet?" "Its on my list."

6 comments:

savannah said...

good luck and godspeed...and don't forget your warm jumpers.

Old Knudsen said...

Jumper? maybe Yanks can learn ta speak proper after all.

savannah said...

yeah..we might be S-T-O-O-O-P-I-D, but we ain't dumb! *bless your heart*

fofufou said...

So are you the coxman of this motley crew?

Old Knudsen said...

savannah I've had dealing with some yank weemen and to get fanny and bum mixed up can spoil a good night.

yer lordship no I'm just bringing the sandwiches, I don't like that ya ya ya music.

Anonymous said...

I trust you will be planning on regular rests and meal breaks - you know your IBS will be a problem otherwise...