Tuesday 30 January 2007

I Just Want To Thank All Those I Stepped On Along The Way.


On the 25th February its Oscar night again, firstly I don't care if you don't give a shit about the Oscars and say its all Hollywood politics with everyone scratching each other's backs, go read a more witty and interesting Blog then, whats that? can't find one ok then this is what I have to offer.

Old Knudsen hasn't gone ghey, last week in that public restroom was a misunderstanding and we both shook hands about it afterwards, of course I couldn't look him in the eye. (a short fella)
I can't wait to see what Versace or Vera Wang come up with , its my dream to walk up the red carpet and have some dopey hoor like Joan Rivers ask me "who are you wearing" and I'll say "Burtons" or "Marks and Sparks" and then up comes Matt Damon who plays the Young Knudsen and Antony Hopkins who plays the Old one.
"Is it true Old Knudsen that you're dating Salma Hayek?" being a gentlemen I like to be discreet where the ladies are concerned,"no I merely fucked her in the ass as she was on her moons and played with her tities, check out my Blog for the full story".

Don't worry when I'm famous I'll still remember you little people that read me during the time in which I was Blogging in a local Burger King while holding doon two jobs and supporting a family of 6. I have no idea who the family were, parasitic fuckers the lot of them. Of course you lot will disappear when I start charging £10 a post or £29.99 a month, what a bargain.

The movies this year are really really shite and I have not seen any of them but that doesn't stop me from having a go, I'm so disappointed in these films, so anyway any other categories I don't care like Sound Editing, who gives a fuck? and you can tell how bad a movie is when all its in is Visual Effects, Superman returns and Poseidon. If Scorsese doesn't do well this year he may very well cry, its his turn.
Here are Old Knudsen's picks for the 2007 Oscars.

Best Picture: Babel............ it has to get something card

Best Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio........... Not a great choice card

Best Actress: Helen Mirren............. Queen card

Best Supporting Actor: Djimon Hounsou ............If not then Eddie Murphy race card

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett ..............we like her card

Best Director: Martin Scorsese..................... pity card


For each I get wrong I will donate £50.00 to charity. Or I'll just say fuck off, yeah that sounds better .

5 comments:

Ame said...

Ooooooooooor you can post a shot of you in your Vera Wang...or your Versace...and hike up the skirt...we really wanna see your leg! ;)

The Mistress said...

Did you wash your hands before shaking that fella's hands?

Sassy Sundry said...

Nice Oscar picks. They nominated Leonardo DiCaprio for the wrong film. He was incredible in The Departed. And I hate him with a passion, so I'm not just saying that.

It wasn't a great film, but I will be tickled pink if Little Miss Sunshine wins. It was hysterical.

And Martin Scorsese deserves the Oscar if for no other reason than getting the Boston accents right (OK, Damon and Whalberg are from Beantown, but still...).

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Look forward to seeing how many you get right then Old K. Best Blogger? We all await your valued verdict with baited breath. Get to the back, Ame. I was here first.

Old Knudsen said...

Having done well in the picking fer years I have put myself on the line. Washing hands is for the weak and should be mocked, no one is getting a look at my vera Wang and yes I've been voted the Best Blogger two years in a row.