Tuesday 3 October 2006

You can't make shit like this up, well ok I could.


The UDA (Ulster Defense Association) which is a Protestant Paramilitary group in Northern Ireland, in other words Terrorist scum to you clueless yins out there have said they are willing to disband as long as the government gives it £8.5m to help it do so, wow, these guys aren't as dumb as I thought they were, most of the terrorist groups have gotten more into the drug dealing and protection rackets since the so-called cease fire and now the UDA want to be government funded dealers , the reason they have given is to become a community development body, during my days of visiting the province mostly at the times to celebrate the 1690 victory over the catholics and bathe my old balls in the golden shower of bitterness from Flute bands from all over the world with nothing but Papal hate and drinking on their minds.

I have noticed the communities that groups like the UDA live in, kirb stones all painted red white and blue, as are the lamp posts the fences,and also any dog that holds still to scratch , murals of flags and masked men painted on the sides of homes and if the home owner doesn't like it they can move, if they touch it they're dead, try selling yer home now , flags and bunting up all the year round, oh yes these communities are colourful alright, so now they want the government to pay for 74 ex UDA thugs to be employed to help the community with their own brand of decorating, fuck sake, they have some neck on them , and the funniest thing is, they say , however, this is not a prerequisite for ending paramilitary activity.

Dear Government, I would like you to give me £8.5m and I will stop Blogging, I need this money to employ 74 ex Bloggers only to comment on other Blogs, no more Blogging for us, well unless we decide at some point in the future to set up a Blog, so any chance?

4 comments:

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Where's this tender side you were going to show us then Knuders?

I know that on some men it's that little spot right up in dark corner where the thigh meets the... oh never mind. The UDF it is, then. I'm still waiting for the hot sex scene over at Foots' and for Doccy M to finish fatmammycat's saucy dream.

I mean, this is the internet right? Where people come for all manner of depravity and filth.

All I want is a little tenderness...

*sob*

Caveat lector et caveat spammer: this post is intended to be read in a jocular manner and while I may have indicated a desire to see Old Knudsons tender side, I meant it in an ironic, joshing-twixt-friends, and, most of all, untruthful way. Spammers, do not, not take this to mean that you may fill up my blog or email with pictures of your willies and advice on how best I might pleasure you. I get enough of that with The Reader's Digest, filthy lot that they are.

Rob7534 said...

You're becoming quite popular with people on my blogroll Knudsen.

You have been discovered, quickly, get rid of the drugs, your audience is coming!

Old Knudsen said...

Mr Eater, so sorry it took so long to get back to you but hate crimes do take up a lot of my day.
No I did not make this up, I did make up wrestling with Neville Chamberlain though, it was actually his brother Sir Austin, thanks for the money ya stingy shite, I would have thought it would be worth more than 50p to get me off the Blogs.

Sam, The interweb is indeed for filth, I was very much hoping for your character to get some action, infact I was hoping for my Character to get some action though with footie you never know what sick way he would twist it on me, at least you didn't get shat on by a fat bird, but enough of my sex life the story was good too, how come the only Scots not to be a villian is a woman? I suspect he wants to eat more than feet.

Rob7534, Can you get some of these 'Old Gaysens' to decorate a bit around here, don't get Carson to pick out any clothes for me, I've been wearing a tie as a belt for years now, I really must get a belt some day.

Anonymous said...

Feck, man! I cam' ower for a breakfast pint and tae borrow a tenner, and yer place is full o' gayers!

Jesus wept, Knudsen, what hae ya gotten yersel' in tae, man?!

How on God's green are we supposed ta get the weemen? Ya said this blog would get us the weemen, so ya did.

D'ya think the gayers decoratin' the place will help? Maybe they've sisters, aye? Och, you should ask for me, at least. T' lot o' hoors round here won't hae nothin' tae do wit' me no more, I'm sad ta say. Cash on the barrel, they say, cash on the barrel. Aye, wit' the size o' the arse crack on t'last one, I was sure I could run ma credit card through. Skinty Arbroath hoors, damn them.