Saturday 16 September 2006

That old German Charm Works Again.


Pope Benedict XVI gave a speech entitled, Faith, Reason and the University Memories and Reflections.
A lot of it was the usual stuff involving beer chugging Toga parties and passing around semi conscious girls, he told about how his faith was strong even back then when he refused to wear condoms, "don't worry, I'll pull out", if you can't trust ex Hitler youth then who can you trust?
I really don't know what the Pope would know about 'reason' it doesn't really figure into Christianity much, I should know this, being Presbyterian we're told to leave the thinking to God, why else would we have a rule book? (Ian Paisley being his rep on Earth) the Pope went on to talk about reason, "because I said so" that's a good reason ,I suppose.
Heres when it all went a little pear shaped, the Pope who likes German Schnapps a lot started to feel the effect of the 6 shots he took before he addressed the crowd, you know what hes like, he starts thinking hes the Byzantine Emperor Manuel II Paleologus, as soon as he started talking about the winter barracks near Ankara in 1391 all his bald headed Papal handlers said "holy shit, here he goes again", they still remember the time when he said, "you know, Hitler had the right idea", a real show stopper especially during a speech about the Holocaust.

Bene baby (in the words of the Emperor) said that Muhammad only brought evil and inhumanity to the religion, such as saying spread the word of his faith by the sword, he then went and ignored a lot of the old testament by saying violence is incompatible with the nature of God, of course he was long winded and boring about the whole thing, then as the Schnapps started to wear off he got a headache, he finished with, we are right, everyone else is wrong, fuck the prods God is love, thankyou Regensburg goodnight.

Way to go Pontiff, if there is anyone that needs to be pissed off more its the crazy Muslims, let me guess, they ranted and raved and burned a few things, you know if someone really
wanted to piss them off they would distribute flame retardant flags and spoil their mood, they might even think it was Allah, those flip flop wearing 3rd world camel shaggers will believe anything, well all Muslim leaders are condemning the pope's remarks, comparing him to the usual Hitler and Mussolini, that seems to be a constant trend, well I'm comparing you Muslims to Catholics, now go throw some stones and blow up shit, you already did the hunger strike at Guantanamo Bay, did you remember to smear your shit all over your own sleeping quarters, boy that taught the Brits a lesson, "oh no, hes lying in shit, we must do something, oh that's me tea break see ya in 15 mins Bobby ya fat smelly fucker".

Reacting to the Pope's speech.
Goefuke Youssef a muslim cleric and renowned 40's swing dancer and flag shop owner said, what does that fucker know? Islam is a religion of peace, this makes me so fucking mad, I'm gonna go home for some angry sex with my oppressed wife, roughly, from behind like a camel, then I'm going to burn something relevant.

During the trials of Oj (the juice) Simpson (DOH!) and Michael (jesus juice) Jackson the Nation of Islam was always mouthing off to the cameras, those silly looking creepy dickie bowed black men had plenty to say, well they seem to be keeping their heads down now,
I wonder if they support innocent Black men too, or just the obviously guilty ones? that says a lot, maybe the Pope should try this angle.

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