Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez (not Hugo Boss as formerly stated) gave a speech to the UN calling President Bush the Devil and making the sign of the cross in that I'm Catholic and so dramatic kind of way and saying that Bush talked like he owned the World, No Mr Chav, that's whats known as the American way.
Bush had addressed the UN the day before, Chavez complained that the smell of sulfur still hung in the air, well done Mr Bush on the lingering capacity of your farts, or staying on the Latin theme did you give the microphone the Dirty Sanchez?
Condoleezza Rice took the Victor Mature route and said Chavez's remarks were not becoming a head of state, and wouldn't dignify them with a response, that was after 2 hours trying to think of one.
Rice did however point out that at their table they only had a junior note-taker as was customary when governments like that speak, this may sound bitchy but really shows that Chavez is right and America doesn't care what anyone has to say.
Chav may be a ball licking suck off a commie while wanking an Islamic extremist kind of guy but hes amusing in a talk out your arse sort of way, anyone that Pat Robertson wants killed can't be all bad .
Chavez said (it was a packed 23 min speech) an Alfred Hitchcock movie could use the whole Bush scenario as a plot entitled 'The Devil's Recipe" (is it the way it's cooked or the herbs and spices?) I'm sorry to inform you Mr Chavez (who reads this blog) but Hitchcock is dead, that movie 'Hitch' was a Wil Smith film about dating, Hitch being the character's name, clever huh? a little like the movie I've written called Justice, with Sam Justice as a tough PI, I was going to make him blind but 'Blind Justice' just sounded silly.
Chavez is a man of charity, his own country and those around it may be always in the shitter but hes good enough to give millions of gallons of oil to poor America families, they would rather have food or money as they can't afford to refine the oil and it blocks their driveways so they can't park their SUVs, but its the thought that counts, maybe Iran, Syria and Cuba aren't crazy oppressive fucked in the head countries after all, any friend of your's Mr chavez.
In his speech he called Bush the Devil 8 times, you know Mr Chav just because you say it 8 times in a high pitched voice doesn't make it true, Old Knudsen can say this once and you can bet your life on it, "Bush is a Dickhead", and don't insult the Devil like that.
Thursday 21 September 2006
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12 comments:
does the devil have a shadow?
ps. you're up very early this morning! how's the haar there on the west coast?
The devil even has an ipod, his shadow is a guy wearing sunglasses talking into his hand, how come when Old Knudsen talks into his hand people think hes nuts? well ok me hand talks back sometimes.
No haar on the west me dear, go east to Arbroath that town is full of Haars.
Old Knudsen, that was definitely one of your funnier posts, and that's really saying something.
I thankyou Fat Sparrow, if I didn't already have an ego the size of a house (4 bedroom 2 bath)
such praise would go to ma head.
ah, the haar. just testing your knowledge of scotland - after all, you could be anywhere. i worked in arbroath for a while when i lived in auchmithie. i liked it.
That was right good that was. The president of Iran reads my blog, but he rarely comments unless I post nude pics. I'm sure Chavez must be tempted by this though.
Funny, I'm writing a novel about a detective called Ernest Trousersnake, and he's got only one eye.
I heard the devil was quite put out by the comparison. He's been working on that rotten eggs pong for a few centuries now, you know: bathing regularly in asses and milk (got a bit lost in translation into Beelzebubese, that one), using eau d'odour; a roll on for his fiery armpits - the sort that doesn't leave white marks so he can wear Mrs. Devils's little black dresses in his spare time without her finding out.
But does anyone care? Has anyone noticed? No, he still has to live with that old stereotype. And now he's told he smells like Georgie-boy. It would try the patience of a saint.
Sources close to the devil, though, say that he's hoping to get his own back by planting lustful thoughts into Mrs. Chavez's head about Bush, and have her ask him over bitter breakfasts why he can't be a real man who clears brush on his ranch and leads the the free-world.
And Bush is getting a dose of penile warts.
Gaijin Girl, you sneaky thing, as I was saying to Richard Nixon and Ronnie Barker in the pub the other day, if you can't trust a one legged Scottish Viking with a penchant for distorting the truth, who can you trust? ach, now I'm in the mood for a smokie.
Mr Montoyo, nice to see you, just don't touch anything, I know how much of everything I have on this blog and I'll be checking it, Dago can cover Spaniard,Italian or Portuguese as they are all those dirty races that fight with their feet and fuck with their mouths, I believe it comes from Diego, your hair looks nice today.
Kieran, if Mahmoud promises to put up a link to you don't believe that wee shite, though he is better educated and spoken than the fake cowboy in the Whitehouse.
Foot Eater, do you have a Joe Vendetta? a tough ex GI who lost his job to outsourcing and heads to India and its not for curry?
Sam problem-child-bride, nice to finally meet you, I thinking you're a hell of a fine woman to be worth a tractor, Mr Chav does not measure up to Bush in real man terms so that may sting quite a bit as I can only imagine the cure for penile warts will, would Chav rub a german leaders neck on a coke induced dare? I think not.
Pleased to meet you too, Mr. Balls.
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