Friday 22 September 2006

Sales Reps and the Devil thrown in again.


Old Knudsen has had many jobs, each work place usually has its own share of arseholes.
There are none so deceptive and slimy as the soul-less sales rep. One sales rep in particular was named George, he was wholesome with soft shiny floppy hair and a broad smile, George had bashed the bible a bit too many times, he was one of those Christian types that never swore or drink, always active in his church and even goes as far as to wear show your nads, Steve Irwin short shorts and become a Scout troop leader, all very disturbing, this was all show as I've said sales reps don't have souls.

George made plenty mistakes at work but would lie or blame others to get out of it, I named him the Teflon man, he was so hated by his fellow workers that when he left his cell phone in the restroom it was teabagged around the mouth piece, followed by giggles later on when seen using it.

George lied and brown nosed his way up in the company, incase you were wondering, we sold blankets infected with smallpox to the Indians (lovely quality) it gets very cold in some parts of India so I saw it as more of a service than a business.

George has a place in Old Knudsen's head right beside Aqua and the Venga Boys songs, he had this really fucking god awful habit of finishing everything he said with,"so he did" or "so it was" sometimes upon George saying a sentence he would pause, and for that moment you would be paralyzed, waiting for him to say it, because you knew it was coming, so you would, argh! with enough exposure to George you may start saying it yourself, so you might, or if you are strong enough you can keep the stupid useless add on line in your head and just mentally add it on , don't think about it too much or you'll start doing it ---------------- so you will.
I don't call for violence often (3 times a day isn't much) but those people that say 'so it was' and theres more of them along with the people that when you come back from the crapper will say,"so you're back" , kill them and make sure they know why.

Those people that say, "cheer up it may never happen" well it might, so don't jinx me you perky Mary Tyler Moore with your Laura Ashley print super hero cape and that little silly looking soul patch on your chin or madam did you miss that while shaving, you leper licking Blurt.
And then there was silence and mothers held on to their children and edged away from the ranting Viking.



The Devil tells a salesman, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any salesman alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest salesman that ever lived."
"Well," says the salesman, "what do I have to do in return?"

The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."

"Wait a minute," the salesman says cautiously, "What's the catch?"

10 comments:

Fat Sparrow said...

So that's the secret to your popularity.


Word Verif: onrye (seriously)

Old Knudsen said...

The Devil looks after his own, yes I know I've yet again mentioned him, I'm old and death is near, and you know what? it won't be the last time Old Nick will grace this Blog.

Word verif, apevgap, where primates shop for clothes.

Foot Eater said...

I was going to comment on the post but as so often happens the comments have distracted me.

Word verif, apevgap, where primates shop for clothes.

I was in an alternative clothes shop in Spain recently and I found a T-Shirt that had a picture of a suckling ape on it with the slogan: 'Chimp's Milk. Drunk by Scottish ever since birth!'

Euro humour, eh? You've got to love it.

The use of word verification on a man's blog is a sure sign that you're in uphill gardener territory, by the way. I used to employ WV on my site but I was cured by electric shocks.

Old Knudsen said...

Those fucking Dagos,ever since Drake and Raleigh (two fine Scots- men)kicked their ass at Trafalgar (square that is) they've had it in for us.
Of course your'e in bum bandit country, you've seen the people me blog attracts, boy do you look nervous, I on the other hand am confident in my sexuality so don't try to goad me into becoming a spam magnet and getting ads for a bigger dick, its not the size that counts its how drunk your lady friend is, besides whats the problem? I come.

Dr Maroon said...

Knudsen you're a crazy old cunt and no mistake.

Our unreserved hatred was reserved for a man who said; "what's in the cheese pieces today lads?"...EVERY FUCKING DAY!

He ended up finance director.

My God but it's true what you say about bible thumpers, they DO wear short shorts. What, in the name, is that all about?

Oh and Foot Eater's right, word verification is as ghey as I shouldn't wonder.

WV: ldnudsnsacnt. see?

Old Knudsen said...

Crazy old cunt, and that would be your medical opinion then? I throw the floor open for a second or third or how many it takes opinion.

Never trust a man who is always sober.

Never trust a man who tells of the love of Jesus while his left nut stares at you out of his shorts.

Never trust a man with a hatred of trees, George killed 3 with his car.

Never trust a man that says, "holy moses" instead of "for fuck sake".

Never trust a man that says word verification is gay, for it takes a real man to type, 'pshcebk'.

If you can't then its time to stop drinking.

Word Verif is to stop the fucking evil spam robots and drunk commenters, as most of my blog readers are usually drunk well I'll sorry.

Foot Eater said...

I would of commented on every one of your posts where it not for the wv whihch i couldnt get past on accunt of I was pissed.

Cuntleflick: the reloading of the comment box until you get a WV less than six letters long. One for the Blogosaurus, that.

Old Knudsen said...

Saipan 1944, you don't know what those spam bots are capable of, do you know how much money they make a month? well of course you do.

Fat Sparrow said...

"I was in an alternative clothes shop in Spain recently" Footie, you do know that you can order that type of, um, "merchandise" (we'll call it, instead of "transvestite wear") delivered right to your door, in a plain brown wrapper. No need to go to Spain.

Unknown said...

Oh, I just loved it, hahaha!!